Lonely Turd

The wife and I took the kids out for dinner tonight. Because they were running around the house like two hell spawns hopped up on goofballs we made the decision to hit the BK Lounge. The location we chose was equipped with a play area for them to run those goofballs out of their system. I took the kids into the play area, proceeded to remove the coats(yes, it's a bit chilly in these here parts) and shoes. I barely had Gunnar's second shoe off when he lunged for the entrance to the climbing structure that was literally alive with screaming children. I grabbed a seat, picked up a magazine and waited for my wife to return with the food. It wasn't very long and my wife entered the play area, brought the food over, and set the trays down on the table. I took this chance to run to the rest room for a bio break followed by a cleansing of the hands. In public restrooms I tend to use the stall if available and I was in luck for it was...or at least I thought I was. I opened the door only to find a lonely turd in the bowl. Now..when I say lonely I mean it was all alone in the bowl. Just a little turd sitting there in the bowl, no paper...just a turd. Upon a discovery like this, one's mind tends to begin creating scenarios to try and figure out what happened. Plenty of paper on the roll. The bowl wasn't clogged so it's not like everything else went down and this turd was left behind. Maybe the turd came back...it wasn't ready to go and this turd came back. Then it hit me...whoever dropped this kid off at the pool either got up and didn't wipe (eewwwww) or he wiped with something else. I suddenly felt trapped. Could I touch anything in this restroom? I used my shoe to pull the door open and got the fuck outta there before I puked.

FLIM...FLAM...plain and simple.

Alright...I am sitting here watching this ridiculous example of a debate. I am trying to gain any insight as to what is located between the ears of Mrs. Palin. As of right now...my guess is dark matter. There is nothing grey about it. This woman has stood up there and said nothing. I mean I hear sounds and I see her mouth moving, however nothing coherent is being produced.

If she doesn't feel like answering the question, she changes the subject and starts talking about something completely unrelated.

And another thing...if I hear one more "soccer mom" or "glass ceiling" or "Maverick" or "Gosh" or "darn it" out of this lady I am gonna fuckin puke. This is unbelievable! Even worse....it's more frightening than anything else. This woman is not fit to be vice president...and the thought that she would be the one to take over the oval office in the event McCain takes a dirt nap before his term in the unholy event we as a nation let him into the white house is more than I can take (insert deep breath here due to the fact that the last statement was a run on sentence). I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Jeez people....the ride is getting a little scary and I think I want to get off, there's just no where to go.

A sign of the times...

I was at the pump the other day and I overheard someone say that they were so glad to be paying $3.29 a gallon. Glad? What do you mean you're glad? You outta be mad as hell. Granted..I'll give you the fact that it's better than $4.00 a gallon. Let's take a moment to look at the fact that this poor soul was actually glad to be paying $3.29. We shouldn't be paying $3.29 a gallon..it's been a process of brainwashing really. The cost of a gallon has been bouncing all over hell so bad that we have become numb to it.

I remember the days of yore when a gallon of gas was $.99, and I also realize that those days are gone. The difference is that back then when a gallon fluctuated as much as a penny people went nuts. These days you can go to sleep one night with gas at one price and the very next morning it can be $.40 or more for that same gallon of gas. What the hell is up with that? Who in their right mind thinks that is alright to do? We have been conditioned people.....conditioned. Don't just sit there in your steel coffins slowly moving along the cloggged arteries we call roadways. WAKE UP!!!! I want you all to go to the window....open it....stick your head out and yell, I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!!!!

We are paying to much for fuel....and our leaders must do something about it and find a way to rid us of the dependency on foreign fucking oil...you lousy muther fuckers. Do what it is that we sent you there to do you over privaleged, corrupt biotches!!!!