Hey, this is my place. Grab a seat and relax for a bit. If you are expecting deep philosophical blather you are going to be dissappointed. You have been warned as some of the opinions discussed on this blog are the opinions of the owner and may or may not align with your own.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I said my piece....no piss off all of you!!!!
Friday, January 16, 2009
I hope all the hype is warranted. I really do. How long will the hysteria last as he takes office and things don't happen fast enough for the masses? I guess we'll find out.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Here is my advice.....quit stuffing yer pie hole!!!!
Monday, January 05, 2009
Rules that men wish women knew:
1. If you think you might be fat, you are. Don’t ask us. Just get your fat ass in a gym.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up put it down.
3. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he’s not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don’t ask him what he’s thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different, it’s just like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not a sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don’t expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.
18. No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
23. Your Mom doesn’t have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26. Don’t give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
30. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
33. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
34. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
35. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.
36. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
37. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
38. Telling us that the models in the men’s magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it’s certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
39. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
40. Anyone can buy condoms.
41. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Again I sit here with my hopes dashed upon the rocks of the island of ill repute. The Eagles came in a freakin Wild Card Team and are now leaving with a win. I had a bad feeling when it took us till yesterday to sell enough tickets to avoid a blackout. A blackout??!! I spent the majority of the afternoon yelling and cussing at my TV knowing the inevitable was soon to pass. It doesn't seem to matter that this Viking team is completely different than the '98 team that left me crushed and weeping in a small Chicago apartment all those years ago (I still loath you Gary Andersen); they still manage to do the same stupid shit year in and year out. All the hype this year about our defense was worthless. All those sacks don't mean shit without a win Allen. In the end you are losers again.
The anger will pass and sooner or later we will all begin hoping again as next season approaches. We will again actually believe we have a chance in hell of making the post season and beyond. We live by the definition of insanity..we do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. I am afraid we will never learn. Oh well...to next season.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
8 years ago I sat and watched a doomed Vikings team lose in the post season again. I am a true Vikings fan..that being defined as a person willing to have their heart ripped out and stomped on multiple times only to come back year after year hoping that this is the one. Here we are yet again at the edge of the precipice staring in the face of impending doom hoping against hope that we have a chance to achieve what may seem impossible. The Giants did it last year against all odds, why can't we? This weekend will prove to be an interesting test. I'll see you all on the other side.
For the record I would like to wish my friends both old and new a safe and prosperous year.