Hey, this is my place. Grab a seat and relax for a bit. If you are expecting deep philosophical blather you are going to be dissappointed. You have been warned as some of the opinions discussed on this blog are the opinions of the owner and may or may not align with your own.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Def Leppard - Hysteria

One of my favorites from the boys.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Christmas.....a commentary.

Well Trout faithful...another holiday is complete number 38 for me specifically. The gifts have been opened, the toys assembled, all the bbq smokies, bbq meatballs, deli trays, veggie trays, develed eggs, ham, turkey, cheese, crackers, cookies, pies, eggnog, baileys, and beer have been consumed. The kids have all their toys scattered throughout our home, you can't walk a foot in any direction without stepping on a toy, tripping on a toy, kicking a toy, etc. Ah yes that joyful time of year has passed.

I thought I was going to be able to make it through a Christmas without something to point at and yell aaaaaaargh!!! I was wrong. Ya know what the one thing is that pisses me off during Christmas? It's not the stupid people all around me doing things that aggravate the hell out of me, it's not the dipshit drivers, it's not the writer's that create the rip off bootleg modern versions of the holiday classics (yes I am still quite whipped up about the whole harrassment thing in a Peanuts holiday special), the one thing that makes my blood boil is the packaging that these damn toys come in. Who the hell packages these toys. Here it is Christmas morning and my kids have come downstairs to see all the wonderful things that Santa has brought them whilst they were snuggled in their beds, and it's impossible to get the damn things out of those packages. These toys are secured in the carboard so well, we parents have to run out to the garage and get the following: A knife, carboard cutter, pliers, screw drivers, wire cutters, drill, hammer, torch, jackhammer, and when all that fails we have to bust into the C4 just to get these fucking toys out of the package. All the while your kids are screaming because it is taking you an extraordinary amount of time (a lifetime from a kids perspective) to get the toy out of the package, and then god forbid you have "some assembly required" after that. I'd like to find out who these chuckle heads are that create this packaging and but them sum' bitchez in the mush.

Happy New Year everyone.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

What the???????

I can find no other reason than the season. Wow..that rhymed. Driving home from work today I happened upon a Jeep that merged into the lane in front of me. As I signaled and moved into the middle lane to pass said Jeep, I noticed something odd about the vehicle. After a double take, I realized what I was looking at was true. This car had antlers and a big red nose. These fucking people had decorated their SUV for Christmas. Now, I really like this holiday for it is my favorite above all. My kids are really starting to know what the deal is and it is fun to see them enjoy all the cool things about Christmas. My daughter runs around saying Happy Christmas, and my son runs to the patio window and points to the giant inflatable snowman I installed on the deck and says "man" over and over again. Having said all that, I apologize, but I have to draw the line at decorating your car. That is going a bit far in my opinion. Merry Christmas everyone...and quit decorating your car.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Thank you Beekman!!!!

I never get the questions right on "Are you smarter than a 5th grader". Of course I did come into my own in 8th grade.

JustSayHi - Science Quiz
Want to be a xray technician?


Parents and those offended, please read prior to venturing any further....

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Done as a Society...part II

Listening to the radio today on the way home from work I heard something that I at first thought was a joke. As the radio host returned from the network pause for identification he re-visited the topic that I thought I had just heard. A company in California has opened the first of many rent-a-pet franchises. The basis is that anyone that can't handle the every day responsibility of owning their own pet can simply rent one for a day...a weekend...whatever. Unbelievable...now we have disposable pets. Can we finally admit that we are most likely not fit for survival as a species? Of all the fake, trendy, piece of shit, fucking ridiculous concepts. As you probably can guess, it ain't cheap to do this either. My question is...are there people in this world who are actually willing to pay for a rent a pet? WTF people...please stop this merry go round for I am getting ill. HEY HUMANITY...FUCK OFF...THERE IS NO HOPE FOR ANY OF YOU!!!!

I think I could take more....


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Saturday, December 15, 2007

Here we are at a Crossroads...

Well friends....my team is at a crucial juncture in this roller coaster season. I for one 4 weeks ago would never have thought the Vikes would be anywhere in the near vicinity of where they are now. As hard as it is for me to admit, I think I have to thank the Green Bay Packers for the reality check they gave the Vikings in that 34-0 ass whoopin. I really think that was the turning point for this team. I had no hope for TJack as a quarterback, our multi-million dollar front line was not living up to the dollars that were being spent, Childress was completely defunct ed, and my thoughts had already gone to next season. Having been a Vikings fan all my life through the bad and the worse, I have had my heart broken by this team year in and year out. I still cringe when I think about '98 when we fucked that up and thank Zeus that I was not old enough to remember the 4 failed Superbowls.

Over the last 4 weeks the Vikes have shown something we all thought was gone, life. Not perfect life mind you, but life non the less. TJack almost overnight looks like he is actually somewhat coherent in the pocket, the front line has turned into a purple moving crew, the one two punch of Peterson and Taylor is best in the league, and the defensive secondary is providing something I'm still shocked to see...coverage. I will refrain from comments about the special teams...for they suck rocks (oops I guess that was a comment). Oh well..as I said, here we go again as we begin to hope against all hope that the Football Gods are looking down on us with favor, while knowing full well that those hopes will be destroyed when the gods turn on us in normal fashion. A mighty swing of their swords will separate our heads from our bodies like a scene out of Highlander. There they will stand over our headless and crumpled corpses as the Quickening lays waste to our football souls sending us once again into the abyss of football purgatory. There we will spend the off season roaming the underworld headless and soulless hoping against hope that next season will be different. Oh the humanity of it all.

But first things first..We MUST crush the Bears of Chicago leaving them broken and bloody on the field this Monday so that all witness what they face in our wrath. For we will show our adversary's no mercy in our quest for victory in Valhalla (Phoenix). Skol Vikings....SKOL!!!!!!

Friday, December 14, 2007

It's a wonderful life....thanks Jimmy

Over the past couple of days my faith in humanity has been challenged to the hilt. The whole Peanuts episode nearly ended me. Well tonight it's Friday and the weekend is before me. Two days to relax...forget about work and re-charge. What better way to begin the weekend than sitting down to the classic "It's a wonderful Life". Jimmy Stewart is one of my all time favorite actors. You won't find another actor gifted with such a natural delivery. This movie is one of his best in my opinion. I just saw my favorite scene where George and Mary get married and were about to leave for their honeymoon when old man Potter attempts to close the Building and Loan. George and Marry forgo their honeymoon to provide the frightened people of Bedford Falls with the money they so desperately need. After George and his uncle successfully keep the Building and Loan from certain doom, he gets a call from his wife instructing him to their new home. That home being the old broken down house that George threw rocks at during he and Mary's first date. It may be quirky, however my favorite scene is when George walks up to the front door where the doorman leans back tipping his hat with the door frame only to have George look down letting the water from the brim of his hat poor into the doorman's open hand. Like I said..maybe quirky, however for me it's the little things in movies that make them for me. If someone is creative enough to insert these little things into a movie, it's the best. Anyway...Happy Holidays everyone, even those folks that manage to piss me off each and every day.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Of all the inconsiderate pieces of....

My fellow man (in this case woman) never ceases to amaze me at the complete self absorbidness (sorry Jason if that ain't a word). I am driving today and I come rolling up to a left hand turn lane where a mini-van was already waiting for the light to turn. I come to a stop and wait along with said mini-van. The light turns green and nothing, the mini van continues to wait there. I can see inside that the visor on the driver side is down and this lady is putting on her fucking make-up. I lay on the horn and she continues to put her make-up on. Finally she flips up the visor and tears through the yellow light to make it. I am sitting there ready to melt down. Does this stupid bitch think she is the center of the fucking universe? Is the sun shining out her ass hole? Who the hell does this chick think she is? UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!! As I wait there for the light to yet again turn green I am creating all kinds of scenarios where this stoopid biotch meets her demise. The light turns green and I roll through the intersection and continue on my way. For whatever reason the traffic gods must have heard my plea....I passed her a bit further down the road pulled off to the side of the road as the trooper wrote her a well deserved ticket. I couldn't help but laugh as I drove by flipping her off through the passenger window and luckily she was looking right at me when I told her through that certain finger gesture that she was #1. What was that Star Trek quote again? Oh yes.

Ah Kirk...my old friend, have you ever heard the Klingon proverb "Revenge is a dish best served cold?" It is very cold in Minnesota.

Here's to you Biotch....(BWA...HA HA HA HA HA)

Monday, December 10, 2007

Done as a society....

I have now seen it all. I am writing this to you during a commercial break from a recently created Peanuts special. In the last scene prior to the current break I witnessed Rerun (supposedly Linus and Lucy's little brother) get suspended from school due to harrassment. A girl in his class was depressed, he told her they should run away to Paris. She thought it was funny so she told her Mom who told the teacher who told the Principal. The Principal called Rerun to the office and then suspended him and sent him home...FOR HARRASSMENT!!!!

What the H...E...Double toothpicks is up with the world? What happened to just the classic Peanuts Specials? What the hell is it with these rip off bootleg new versions of the cartoons that don't come close to the originals?

HARRASSMENT?????? When are we going to see snoopy going to jail for being a Peeping Tom? When are we going to see the episode where the rest of the gang has to do an intervention because Schreoder is hopped up on shrooms all the time? And god forbid they actaully make Pig Pen take a bath because some assfuck out there is offended by it.

Again..I weep for the future....

Hey Humanity...pull yer heads outta yer asses and realize how fucked up you all are!!!!

Tis the season to show the good nature of mankind....NOT

I was hoping that the season we are in would be more than a race to amass material things, where I would bear witness to the goodness of mankind. Well...that went out the fuckin window. I have seen more examples of the evil of mankind than that of the goodness. The shroud of the Dark Side has fallen for sure. Whether it is people actually kicking the shit of of each other for a parking space close to the mall, or people trampling others to get into the store to buy this years most desirable (and soon forgotten) toy. Remember last year when the laughing Elmo was the talk of the town and people were killing each other for it in stores, less than a month later said Elmo were located in the sale bin for 50% off. We need to come to our senses people sooner rather than later. I weep for our future. Do not give into to anger and aggression for these things do lead to the Dark Side, and forever will it dominate your destiny. Hey humanity, try giving of yourself this season and even after that if can manage it and you'll forgive me if I don't hold my breath.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Holy Widgets Batman...

Check out the widgets I have added. For fun and games...scroll all the way to the bottom of this blog. Classic games await. You visit my blog..yer gonna have fun dammit!!!

The Alberta Clipper...an informational blog short

An Alberta clipper, also known as a Canadian Clipper, is a fast moving low pressure area which generally affects the central provinces of Canada and parts of the Upper Midwest and Great Lakes regions of the United States. Most clippers occur between December and February, but can also occur occasionally in the month of November. Alberta Clippers take their name from Alberta, Canada, the province from which they appear to descend, and from clipper ships of the 19th century, one of the fastest ships of that time.

A clipper originates when warm, moist winds from the Pacific Ocean come into contact with the mountains in the provinces of British Columbia and then Alberta. The air travels down the lee side of the mountains, often forming a Chinook in Alberta, then develops into a storm over the Canadian prairies when it becomes entangled with the cold air mass that normally occupies the region in winter. The storm then slides southward and gets caught up in the flow around the mass of high pressure which always inhabits cold polar areas, sending the storm barreling into central and eastern areas of North America.

Ironically, the Chinook which in part originates the Alberta clipper usually brings extremely warm weather (often approaching 21C/70F in the depths of winter) to southern Alberta itself, and the term is therefore not in common use in Alberta.

I would like to thank the folks at Wikipedia for the above narration on what has kicked our asses here in Minnesota over the last 2 weeks.

Ah Kirk...my old friend, have you ever heard the Klingon proverb "Revenge is a dish best served cold?" It is very cold in Minnesota.

The writer of this blog wishes to inform all readers that this entry was meant as an educational attempt, the sub reference to an old Star Trek Movie should be ignored as it is of little relevance to the actual content of the blog short.

And Libby's is.....

Your Elf Name Is...

Freckles Sugar Butt

I guess I am a butt man after all.....ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

In the spirit of the holiday season...

And the fact that the weather girl also took the quiz, here it is.

Your Elf Name Is...

Booty Helper

Actually, I have always been kinda a boob man

Oh well

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

What should I be when I grow up???

This is interesting and for those of you that know my father, it runs in the family. My son is nuts about cars....cripes his first word was car believe it or not. Seriously it was actually car.

You Should Be a Mechanic

You are logical, calm, and detail oriented.
You're rational when things are chaotic, and for you, reason always prevails.
And while you are guided by logic, you aren't a slave to it.
You're flexible when it counts. You are always open to being wrong.

You do best when you:

- Work with your hands
- Can use tools, machines, or equipment

You would also be a good architect or carpenter.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Uh-oh..should have studied more.

I just found out that there is a tool out there that measures the reading level of blogs (thanks Jason). What I found out is that my college education may actually have been hampered by all the beer I consumed. Oh well...never said I was a braniac to begin with...

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Duh..which way did he go George, which way did he go???