Hey, this is my place. Grab a seat and relax for a bit. If you are expecting deep philosophical blather you are going to be dissappointed. You have been warned as some of the opinions discussed on this blog are the opinions of the owner and may or may not align with your own.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Thanksgiving...good times

Well.....yet another Thanksgiving holiday has come and gone and that rumbling you hear in the near distance is Christmas. Man the years seem to fly by.

There is a pivotal point when the years starting moving at light speed. I have done much research about this and I am fairly certain my hypothesis is correct. The years drag until you hit the age of 21....then they start flying by. Soon after 21...what may seem like seconds....you hit 30. The next phase where time takes yet another quantum leap in speed is after you have kids....pretty soon yer a year away from 40 and then you really start wondering where the hell all this time has gone.

Anyway....let's jump back from that incredibly large tangent that just sort of fell onto the screen.

Thanksgiving....good times. Good time with family that I hadn't seen in a long time. Thanksgiving day at my folks house was fun, hectic, and crowded. My folks place isn't that big to begin with, add 15 adults and 8 grand kids and it's a recipe for chaos. It was. Adults with no energy and kids with endless energy made for an interesting time. We all did make it out alive though so we got that working for us.

Fast forward to Friday night...had the chance to hang out with some old friends and finally meet some new ones (yes...I finally met the weather chick and her other half in person) Good times....good times. Anyone up for a week long trip to tornado alley?????? Jason and Michelle were up and it was good to have them back in the fold....I missed them even though I didn't really realize it until we were again enjoying some frosty beverages at "The Bone". It was good to see Dave and Rich...even though we all live within minutes of each other we seldom get together to share old times or shoot the shit about new ones. And lastly and certainly least was Jerry. I have to admit, it was good to see him again as well...even though he does sort of scare me with the hair and beard action he has going (picture the death metal bass player aggressive type.....yeah you know what I'm talking about). Heather was there too and it has been a long time since I have seen her!! Good friends every one of them.

Looking forward to seeing everyone again during the silly season that is approaching. Till then take care of yourselves.

Friday, November 14, 2008

A short rant...

This is to the fuck stick earlier today that cut me off. Maybe it's me...I don't follow the logic of why this a-hole had to hammer it off the line only to get in front of me to turn right into a parking lot. There wasn't a car behind me...what the fuck was this dirt bag thinking? Fuckin greedy is what he is..ass hole. He's lucky I didn't have a cow catcher on the front of the truck...I would have wrapped his back seat around his fuckin head.

Alright..I'm done...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Palin.....the in-law that won't leave...

The election is complete and the Democrats have triumphed. Why does the media continue to put Palin center stage? Is it because it makes ratings? Maybe. Now I hear that the buzz is whether she will make a run at the White House? Are we serious? What part of the campaign didn't showcase this individual's lack of any sort of political prowess? How many stupid comments about pitbulls, lipstick, glass ceilings, and Hockey Mom's do you have to hear before the light goes on about just how unqualified this person is? People..this Sara Palin is not fit for the office she currently holds..much less the White House. The more she fills the television screen on all the news shows the worse she looks. She can't answer the questions asked. The Rebumblicans are in serious trouble if this is their great hope for they are doomed if this is all they have to offer the people of the United States.

Actually..come to think of it...maybe that's not such a bad thing.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Obama...Oval Office...Big Chair. Now the work begins.

Well....the democrats should be quite satisfied after the complete trouncing they took 4 years ago.
Obama and the Dems won with authority and then some.
Palin eventually caused the implosion of the Republican party...and now everything is right with the world.
My only caution people is the simple fact this country as well as the world is pretty fucked up right now.
To think that this one individual is going to be the 2nd coming is ludicrous.

I watched the acceptance party for Obama and although I was happy to see him win (I did vote for him after all); I thought all the bawling, raising hands to the sky, and the praise Jesus crap that was going on amongst the crowd was a bit much.
And Oprah....not gonna even go there.
The guy isn't a god after all and these people looked like they were a witness to some divine event.
Come on....a divine event?
If anything, the American people finally pulled their heads outta their assess and spoke up for once.
This election was quoted as seeing one of the largest voters turn outs in history.
I guess my question is where the fuck were all you morons 4 years ago?
Did we really have to go through another 4 years of that W. fuck before you finally figured it was the right thing to vote.
How dare you people....how dare you!!!!!
People say voting is a privilege.....it is a duty you schmucks...a duty...do you hear?!!!!
Freedom and democracy is a fragile thing..and we are fortunate to be here enjoying our rights.
Again....I hope and pray that Obama is the man we all think he is.
Is he capable of leading this country out of the funk that we are in?
For the sake of my 401(k), I hope so.
More importantly are you (yes you reading this blog) willing to do what it takes to help bring this country out of the funk that it's in?
Time will tell my friends...time will tell.
I'll see you all in four years when I'll ask all of you if you are better off now than you were four years ago.
My hope is that we all answer with a resounding yes.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Lonely Turd

The wife and I took the kids out for dinner tonight. Because they were running around the house like two hell spawns hopped up on goofballs we made the decision to hit the BK Lounge. The location we chose was equipped with a play area for them to run those goofballs out of their system. I took the kids into the play area, proceeded to remove the coats(yes, it's a bit chilly in these here parts) and shoes. I barely had Gunnar's second shoe off when he lunged for the entrance to the climbing structure that was literally alive with screaming children. I grabbed a seat, picked up a magazine and waited for my wife to return with the food. It wasn't very long and my wife entered the play area, brought the food over, and set the trays down on the table. I took this chance to run to the rest room for a bio break followed by a cleansing of the hands. In public restrooms I tend to use the stall if available and I was in luck for it was...or at least I thought I was. I opened the door only to find a lonely turd in the bowl. Now..when I say lonely I mean it was all alone in the bowl. Just a little turd sitting there in the bowl, no paper...just a turd. Upon a discovery like this, one's mind tends to begin creating scenarios to try and figure out what happened. Plenty of paper on the roll. The bowl wasn't clogged so it's not like everything else went down and this turd was left behind. Maybe the turd came back...it wasn't ready to go and this turd came back. Then it hit me...whoever dropped this kid off at the pool either got up and didn't wipe (eewwwww) or he wiped with something else. I suddenly felt trapped. Could I touch anything in this restroom? I used my shoe to pull the door open and got the fuck outta there before I puked.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

FLIM...FLAM...plain and simple.

Alright...I am sitting here watching this ridiculous example of a debate. I am trying to gain any insight as to what is located between the ears of Mrs. Palin. As of right now...my guess is dark matter. There is nothing grey about it. This woman has stood up there and said nothing. I mean I hear sounds and I see her mouth moving, however nothing coherent is being produced.

If she doesn't feel like answering the question, she changes the subject and starts talking about something completely unrelated.

And another thing...if I hear one more "soccer mom" or "glass ceiling" or "Maverick" or "Gosh" or "darn it" out of this lady I am gonna fuckin puke. This is unbelievable! Even worse....it's more frightening than anything else. This woman is not fit to be vice president...and the thought that she would be the one to take over the oval office in the event McCain takes a dirt nap before his term in the unholy event we as a nation let him into the white house is more than I can take (insert deep breath here due to the fact that the last statement was a run on sentence). I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Jeez people....the ride is getting a little scary and I think I want to get off, there's just no where to go.

A sign of the times...

I was at the pump the other day and I overheard someone say that they were so glad to be paying $3.29 a gallon. Glad? What do you mean you're glad? You outta be mad as hell. Granted..I'll give you the fact that it's better than $4.00 a gallon. Let's take a moment to look at the fact that this poor soul was actually glad to be paying $3.29. We shouldn't be paying $3.29 a gallon..it's been a process of brainwashing really. The cost of a gallon has been bouncing all over hell so bad that we have become numb to it.

I remember the days of yore when a gallon of gas was $.99, and I also realize that those days are gone. The difference is that back then when a gallon fluctuated as much as a penny people went nuts. These days you can go to sleep one night with gas at one price and the very next morning it can be $.40 or more for that same gallon of gas. What the hell is up with that? Who in their right mind thinks that is alright to do? We have been conditioned people.....conditioned. Don't just sit there in your steel coffins slowly moving along the cloggged arteries we call roadways. WAKE UP!!!! I want you all to go to the window....open it....stick your head out and yell, I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!!!!

We are paying to much for fuel....and our leaders must do something about it and find a way to rid us of the dependency on foreign fucking oil...you lousy muther fuckers. Do what it is that we sent you there to do you over privaleged, corrupt biotches!!!!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Bring forth the Apocalypse....

Well folks...the ride has been a good one, however all good things must come to an end. If we are to think that this empire will last forever, we would be fooling ourselves. Venture into the past with me and look upon all those great societies as they all have one thing in common, at one point in time they crumbled. Our empire has had a relatively good run, however we may be nearing the end of the road. Look at the signs of the times...we are pretty much hated in the world, our government is fucked, we are as divided as we have been, to many thing lining up. We are in trouble people....our time is short. It doesn't matter who ends up in the white house..that individual is screwed. If you support Obama...fine, he ain't gonna fix shit...if you support McCain....fine, he ain't gonna fix shit either. I support Obama myself...I just don't think anyone can pull us from the impending abyss. Big trouble ahead.....for it will get worse before it gets......worser.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

One of the world's great mysteries...

I was driving home yet again today and I was witness to one of the world's great mysteries. Why is it that you only see one shoe laying on the side of the highway? Where the hell is the other shoe? Does it disappear and go to that pile of things when they can't be found? Do they sit there in that other dimension waiting to be found? Where the hell is the other shoe? Can't they fall out of the car in pairs?

I don't get it...

Friday, September 19, 2008

HEROES....who will triumph....VILLIANS

The upcoming weekend is all that stands in the way between me and one of my favorite shows in TV. Heroes begins with a blockbuster back to back premiere on Monday. They saved the cheerleader, now what challenge faces the heroes as they try and save the world. Fucking Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Fucking Gawkers

So..I am coming home from work today. I had just merged onto Cedar from 494 and began the southern trek. I had barely been on Cedar for a minute when...GRIDLOCK! Traffic was backed up all the way across the bridge. We all inched along at 2-3 mph. I finally made it across the bridge only to find out all the traffic was caused by a van parked on the side of the road in the southbound lane. THAT WAS IT??? A fucking van parked on the side of the road caused that level of gridlock? What the hell is wrong with all you Minnesota driver's? A car is parked on the side of the road and you have to slow to a fucking crawl? This van was parked so far off the highway it was on the grass. What...were you all afraid someone was going to swing the door open at the last second? The fucking door would have had to been 35 feet long!!! Muther puss bucket you fucking people anger me. Jeez..better slow down in case that door swings open!!! You ought to be pulled out of your car and pummeled till severe bleeding occurs..at least then there would be something to actually slow down and gawk at. Damn rubber neck's!!!! Drive on the dirt roads losers!!!! AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH Uh-oh...I think I heard something pop in my head....musta been a vessel.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

What the hell is a Republicrat? A completely and empty rant.

I saw a brief article on MSN the other day and the title was Republicrat. What the hell is a Republicrat? Has a new political party developed under my nose? Who are these people? Are they people? Where did they come from? Have they been here all along living among us? How long? What do they look like? Do they eat meat? Are they vegetarians? Do they reproduce? Where do they shop? Do they clip coupons? Do they know what a coupon is? Do they think the word coupon is as silly as I do? Do they drive cars? Hybrid or not? Do they hunt or hug trees? Are they upper class, middle class, do they have a class? Do I know someone who is a Republicrat? Do I want to know someone who is a Republicrat? Do they put their pants on one leg at a time? Which leg goes in first? Do they stand up and/or sit down when the pee? Do they wipe once or twice, or are they so different from us that they don't have to? If they do wipe, do they look at the TP before dropping into the bowl? Does their poop stink? What color is it? Do they pay taxes? Do they have lawn mowers? Are they push or riding? Do they shower? Do they have to put on deodorant to keep from attracting flies? Do they brush their teeth? Do they have teeth? Again I say, what the hell is a Republicrat? Is it any of the aforementioned, or is it yet another group of people that have their own agenda and want the rest of us to follow suit because they know beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are right and the rest of us insignificant boobs are wrong?

Whatever the case ya fucker's...vote yer conscious in the coming elections, the world as we know it is spiralling into the abyss and we have one vote to make our opinions heard. Whether a change in Washington or more of the same occurs...the sun will rise...life will go on, at least until our actions destroy ourselves.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

You can't do that on television.

A favorite show of mine way back in the day. Birthplace of the green slime when the magic words were said. Actually really bad television with skits that read like they were written by a group of snot nosed kids that used to hang out in the rafters of Benesh's garage where other literary atrocities were born.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Back from the Dark Side....

I have battled my demons recently and won a costly victory.

Monday, July 28, 2008

On Hiatus...if you want to talk email me

This blog has been parked for the time being. Mainly cuz I have little or nothing to say....

Wednesday, July 09, 2008


Didn't I say it...I did...I said it, way back in March I said it. Brett will be back. Mark my words. Well, this week the rumors are a flyin' again about 'ole tricky Brett. Text messages about having the itch to return. Can't this guy leave well enough alone and disappear into the sun set once and for all? Come on buddy...give it up, yer old and stuff. WTF???? Oh and add insult to injury, there is even some fools around the Twin Cities radio fraternity saying that Brett could be wearing purple in the future....purple? PURPLE???? I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth. Ewwwwwww!!!! Actually..now that I think about it, on paper all the Vikes need is a solid QB. Maybe that wouldn't be half bad. Not to mention the sheer pain and anguish it would cause every fucking Packer cheesehead to see 'ole Brett wearing that beautiful color purple. What the hell...welcome Brett..come one in and have a seat. Bring the purple a Superbowl and consider yourself forgiven. Yay Brett...yay Brett!

In other news...

Holy catastrophes Batman!!!! The Minnesota Twins took a man size beating today as the Bean Town Red Sox swept them right outta town. The final result of the pummeling was a horrifying 18-5. WTF????!!!! They hit everything from everyone! All I can say is ouch.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Happy 4th of July everyone....

Why the 4th you ask? It was July 4th 1776 when the members of the second continental congress meeting in Philly were finishing the final draft of the Declaration of Independence. This was our country's stand against the tyranny of the British Empire...those bastards. After all, the British were quite silly really (sub-reference). Although the declaration was celebrated un-officially early on after the revolutionary war, it wasn't recognized as a federal holiday until 1941. Nice going Congress..another testament to your efficiency. John Adams wrote, "I believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be celebrated by pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other". Sorry Johnny...took us a while to see it that way.

For our celebration this year...I am looking forward to sinking my teeth into some animal flesh (BBQ Ribs), Calico Beans (my wife's specialty), corn, Cole slaw, and maybe a sweet or two. After the carnage that will most likely leave me in a state of cardiac arrest, it is off to the Apple Valley tonight to watch things explode in the sky with my kids. A favorite of mine is the one that flashes in a small ball of light and sounds like a cannon going off...ya know the one you can feel in your chest when it blows. You can have your frilly ones with all the colors...give me about 85 of those bombers in a row. Send me home in a seizure with heart palpitations.

Anyway...however you celebrate the 4th, have a good one and for cryin out loud don't lose any fingers, hands, etc. The trick is to light the fuse and run like hell.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Ah hell....

Oh well.....guess the 80's movie was right after all, there is a little nerd in all of us. All hail a new nerd nation where equality for those who are fucking geeks is possible.

NerdTests.com says I'm a Slightly Dorky Sci-Fi / Comic Geek.  What are you?  Click here!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Seven Words

A tribute to a comedic genius that thumbed his nose at the establishment. Mr. Carlin you were one of a kind and one of the greats. Thank you for the laughs and the hysterical bouts of pissing on myself.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Gloucester....what the?????

In past blogs I have made the statement that I weep for the future. After this story broke this week, I have to say I weep for the present. I was absolutely in awe of the pure stupidity of teenage girls in this town, for the life of me I can't connect the dots. What are these girls thinking? Is this the ultimate example of a high school cliche? The jocks, the nerds, the dirt bags, the smarts, and now the knocked up hoes? Come on people...someone help me for I am sinking into a a new level of anger and frustration with the youth of today as well as there dumb ass parents. Typically I shake my head at the dip shit kids that live in my neighborhood as they are a certain breed of asshole (even though I remember being somewhat of an asshole as well).

I realize that there are some level headed, polite, and respectful kids out there and to those kids I tip my hat. It was hard to be a kid when I was growing up, however the dynamic world that these kids have to grow up in is tougher than when I was younger. We parents are in a tough spot having not only having to deal with this fucked up rock we live on, but try to understand and support our kids so they are enabled to make the right decision when some stupid slut they are hanging out with says, "let's all get knocked up".

This is really a symptom of a greater problem. WHERE ARE THE PARENTS?????? Are these girls really that starved for love and acceptance from their parents that they believe the only way to get that is to have a freakin baby? Maybe it's just something in the water in Gloucester, or maybe each of these kids lived under power lines, or maybe they all ate paint chips as a kid, or maybe they all had a dream of getting knocked up by a homeless person (this is no slam on the homeless, many of them are good people on hard times), or maybe...just maybe their parents are self absorbed morons. How do you miss something like this? Have you checked your kids arms for track marks? Maybe a better question is, have you talked to your kids in that last month about anything?

Alright...I know I sound holier than thou right now...I am just confused people. Being the parent of a three and two year old...I hope I can do a good enough job to prepare my kids for the world they will eventually face. At the moment of truth, I hope they can make the right decision

Pay attention to your kids, talk them, ask them questions, spend time with them, take an interest in something that they are interested in, be there for them, love them...in short BE A PARENT!!!!!

My sermon has ended...picture me stepping down from my holier than though soap box.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Celtics/Lakers.....KG finally does it.

This picture speaks volumes regarding Game 6 of the NBA Finals. The Celtics on their feet and the Lakers on their ass. As I type this entry the Celtics are up 38 points in the 4th period with a little over 2 minutes to play. I don't claim to be a fan of basketball or the NBA...the only games I have attended were due to someone having tickets and me having free time. I am a Kevin Garnett fan even though he no longer wears the black and blue of the Timberwolves and I was sad to see him go. He deserves this championship title, he is one of the greats that puts everything into the game. Great job KG....enjoy it cuz you deserve it. GO CELTICS!!!!!

*It should be noted that the author of this blog has a certain dislike..alomost to the level of hatred for Kobe Bryant. He is a chump...nuff said.

Tim Russert.....

Just a few words to pay respects to a newsman that I enjoyed watching. He seemed a consumate professional and if he were half the man his friends and family describe, the world has lost a great man. Tom Brokaw...old stone face was brought to tears.

Thanks Tim for the great reporting and for calling it like you saw it.

You ever notice...

You ever notice that when you fart in the tub...the smell seems to be amplified? While bathing my son tonight he dropped a Hiroshima sized bomb in the bathtub. As he reveled in his genius and the fact that the bubbles coming outta his butt were huge, I noticed the rancid smell as the bubbles burst upon reaching the surface. OH MY LORD....the pungentness was enough to make you hurl. What did this kid eat...and more importantly what the hell had it turned into? Whatever it was, I knew I had to be 100 miles away from this kid when he finally did poop...for it would inevitably be a show stopper.

And it was....oh my it was...

Health Club Etiquette

This post is for the fucking jerk off at the club this afternoon. For some reason this dill hole had no grasp of what the IPOD was made for. The IPOD, you thick headed dumb shit, was made so that you could enjoy your music without bothering those around you. It was not made so that you could sing out loud. I ain't interested in your jungle jump hip hop rap shit you fuck. To make this even more ridiculous..this ass face decides to show off what he thought were some great dance moves I guess in front of these chicks. What the h..e..double tooth picks did this chuckle head think he was doing? Actually because he was wearing the IPOD he didn't hear the groups of girls he was trying (and failing) to impress ripping his stoopid ass apart which I thought was amusing.

Excuse me cock guy...keep your dreams of American Idol to yourself or you may find that IPOD stuffed in your ear along with the ear bud. Try carrying a tune then ya puke.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Did I say...the 7th Circle of Hell? Call it a vision....of shit.

Well...my previous post was a tale of things to come. I spent this week in Virginia and Maryland. The trip started out on a bad leg. Upon arriving at the airport I went through he usual bullshit to get to the gate only to find that my flight had been delayed (FUCK). After a 1 hour wait we boarded the plane, pulled away from the gate and sat on the tarmac because of another fucking delay. Finally took off only to fly in fucking circles....holding pattern for the first hour somewhere over Ohio and then again somewhere over Pennsylvania. What the FUCK????

So..I was supposed to land at Dulles at 4:42 pm eastern daylight time, instead I touched down at approximately 6:50 pm eastern daylight time. We were herded like cattle off the plane and I headed for the shuttle bus to the rental car facility only to discover that I had left my Corporate Card at a restaurant in Minneapolis. Now..here I am in fucking DC without my credit card...could it get any worse? Probably.

Anyway, after calling the credit card company and canceling my credit card I had to go through the hassle of changing everything over to my own credit card. That took me an hour on the cell phone as I sat in a rental car on the lot. After all that I still had a 2.5 hour drive south to Staunton, VA. Joy...nothing but Joy!!

After a few days in Staunton, I had to drive north to Baltimore where I was catching a flight back home...or so I thought. Upon arriving at the airport I found that my flight was delayed by another fucking hour. After waiting the allotted time, me and the other cows were herded onto the plane...they closed the door and the pilot came over the intercom, "well ladies and gentleman" FUCKED!!!! You could probably guess what happened next. The pilot explained that we would not be leaving even though we had just boarded the damn plane and that we would all have to de-plane because the weather delay may be indefinite and to add insult to injury we would be sitting on the plane for at least another 45 minutes as we lost our gate. Imagine waiting on a plane you just boarded to leave only to get off the plane and wait some more. Un-fucking-believable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To make a painful long story short I was suppose to be home around 4:30 pm central daylight time, my actual time of arrival was 8:30 pm central daylight time. My one question is who the fuck did I wrong in another life to deserve this fucking bullshit, mother bitchin, asshole suckin week?

Murphy....I say go FUCK yourself you worthless bastard. If I knew where the hell you were, I would hunt you down like the fucking dog that you are and stomp a mud hole in your worthless ass.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Air Travel...aka...The 7th circle of Hell

As a frequent business traveler I have the distinct pleasure of experiencing the joy of shoving shards of broken glass into my eye, oh wait I meant spending time in crowded airports, crowded airplanes, rental cars, and shitty hotels.

As airline service that was already crappy at best reduce service and flights while jacking the prices up on just about everyhting they can the traveler gets fucked right up the anal canal. Ya know those trucks you sometimes pass on the highway stuffed with cattle or pigs? Yeah...air travel.

Now after busting your ass to get to the airport 6 hours prior to your flight, getting through the strip search know as security (never fails that you get stuck behind some blue hair that has never flown and has to walk through the fucking metal detector 7 times cuz they can't seem to empty out their pockets the first 6 times through)you get to your gate and usually find out that the damn flight is fuckin delayed. Yeah, I had to make sure that I was early getting the airport just so I could wait for your stupid flight delay.

Heaven help you if you have a carry-on and your seated in row 1,439 cuz by the time you board the son of a bitch every overhead bin is full cuz the people that got on prior to you stuffed everyone of their fuckin bags in the bin while leaving the spot under their seat in front of them clear. I love it when chicks put their stupid purses up there...when that happens I cram my bag on top of the purse making sure to break every damn thing that bitch has in that purse.

The fucking seats are crammed together leaving no room for anything and for some reason I usually get stuck sitting next to some fucker with shoulders wider than mine. Or...you get stuck next to the guy that needs the belt extender. No disrespect to those folks, however they never get seated next to a skinny prick it's always right next to me. Keep in mind that I know that guy is probably saying the same thing about me...FUCK HIM this is my blog.

So...finally you lube up to get into your fucking seat, the plane backs up from the gate and you hear the pilot come on the intercom. "Well ladies and gentleman...", you hear those words and yer fucked plain and simple. What it means is that any hope that you had in making your connection (cuz direct flights are a thing of the past) has been stomped on, lit on fire, pissed on, and then lit on fire again.

Such is life I guess. Airlines.....I fart in your general direction, I could make better time on the back of a swallow (African to be exact).

Saturday, June 07, 2008

A chapter in our history closes

That's right folks Hilary has conceded to Obama. Either way it was going to be a historic event in our nations history. For the first time an African American and a woman were the prime candidates for the democratic presidential nominee. It truly was a hard fought battle. Now comes the extremely hard part. The two nominees have to do something to try and bring a dis-jointed party together and after the uproar over the deal made in the Florida and Michigan debacles it will be no small task. Well now at least it will be back to the normal melee between two separate parties. Damn politicians.

Monday, June 02, 2008


I have to hand it to John Favreau...his vision of Iron Man was right on. Having read the comic books as a kid Robert Downey Jr. is Tony Stark. He embodies the character and truly made the movie. The special effects were outstanding and not overbearing like other films have done (THE HULK). I would definitely recommend going to see this movie. Very entertaining.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Happy Birthday Jason

Due to computer issues while on the road (this week I am in the heart of Georgia) I was unable to post an entry to wish my friend Jason a Happy Birthday. Unfortunately, I don't have the talent to transpose his head onto the body of a Sasquatch although that would look pretty cool. Anyway..Happy Birthday man...hope it was a good one.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Shitter's full

Well....I haven't posted anything regarding bodily functions in a while. My daughter..bless her heart has a knack for laying turds that are so large they are constantly clogging the toilet, this morning was no exception. After a night out with a group of Pi Lams I came downstairs this morning to the sound of chaos. My daughter came out of the bathroom screaming something about the toilet. "Daddy, the toilet is full" she said as she was walking back into the bathroom. I followed her into the bathroom where much to my shock lay possibly one of the largest piece of human turd I had ever seen. It was no wonder that the toilet was unable to accept such a large turd. It literally filled the entire bowl. I am still not sure how the hell she passed something that size without splitting in two. UNBELIEVABLE. I had to break that sum' biotch up in order to unplug the toilet. The only thing I could compare it to is Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo after he had gained approx 15-20 lbs.

Alright..another freaking post

A buddy of mine is sick of seeing the "Cool Hwip" post. So here is something new...so there I was in the congo. Oh and Rich...."Not four years, but a lifetime"

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Family Guy - Cool Whip

I like Family guy....

A funny story...pi lam long ago

Back in the day...a funny thing happened. This was definitely funny ha ha. A few PI LAM brothers who will remain nameless to protect the innocent were hanging out at the Crack House as we usually did.

The name Crack House does have a bit of a controversial connotation, however for the sake of this blog entry that will have to be discussed in depth at a future point in time.

As previously stated a few of us brethren were hanging out at the aforementioned Crack House. I believe we were watching some television and shooting the shit; I was on the couch, MH was sitting on the floor, O'C was on the couch, and a few others were scattered around the room. Quite suddenly another brother who had been in his room came flying out of said room running across the floor. Upon approaching MH who was sitting on the floor, RE lept in a quite graceful manner over the top of MH. Upon reaching the pinnacle of the leap his ass was positioned directly above MH's head and at that point RE unleashed an air biskit that sent MH and the rest of us into convulsions. MH's convulsions were due to the cloud of smoke that had enveloped his head and the rest of us were laughing uncontrollably.

Truly, one of the funniest things I had ever been witness to or heard of.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Monty python - Black knight (star wars)

Way back, I remember a Friday night staying over at a buddies place. My friends were fans of both comedians and comedy movies. This night had us watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail. One scene in particular I happed to find fucking hilarious. So much so mind you that I practically wore out the VCR playing it over and over and over again. For posterity's sake and my own amusement I have posted that particular scene (with a bit of a Star Wars flair). One word...hilarity.

Who the hell is the last of the Final 5?

Who is it already? They have been throwing out the teases for a while now. We know who 4 of the final 5 are. They just aren't gonna give up the last one are they? They're pushing pretty hard to make us all think it's Starbuck (I ain't buyin it). So who the frak is it? Apollo? No way!!! Adama? Nope! The president? That would actually be pretty lame. OMG...could it be that Baltar is the last of the final 5? That's to easy....he is just plain cracked. What if it ends up being the expendable crew member in the spirit of Star Trek? Nope. Well..I am open for suggestions...

It's been a while...

It has been a while since I have posted anything. Not much has been coming to mind in all actuality. Life has been on cruise control this month. I, like you, are sick and tired of the cold. I wish spring would shit or get off the pot. A hearty "you are poopy heads" to my friends in Oklahoma who have been enjoying warmer weather. Other than that...there is no news fit for print.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

And so it is...the alpha and the omega. BSG.

It is with mixed emotion that I enter this blog. Friday will be the premiere of the final season of Battlestar Galactica. This is a show that I have really taken to. I'll admit I was a fan of the old series cheesy as it was and I was very suspect of this new version of the old scene. After being glued to the TV for the last 4 years, this version has a solid plot, believable characters, and great special effects. I will be sad to see it go, however very interested in how the bring the series to a close. Now what am i gonna do with my Friday nights???? I may have to start reading books...gasp!!! I ain't that desperate...bwa...ha...ha...ha...and uh ha.

A senseless act of self promoting..apologies in advance.

Earlier this week...I was at the club brutally abusing this aging body with all kinds of weight. I have gone to a 3 day training schedule. Day 1 I hit chest, shoulders, triceps, and abs. Day 2 I'll hit back, biceps, and abs. Day 3 I'll hit legs and abs. I have been going at a pretty good clip for about 45 days now and finally I seeing some results. Earlier this week I was in Day 1 mode and working the bench. I felt relatively good and figured what the hell..I hadn't done it since I started and each time I am there I see these chuckle heads maxing out on the bench. I threw 275 on the bar and put it up 3 times....YEAH BABY!!!! OH YEAH..in the immortal words of the Macho Man. Even though I am older than dirt...there is still a bit of fuel in the tank. The only problem is that I burned just about all of it up putting that damn bar up 3 times. Oh well. Had to at least try and show these young fucks that us old folks still deserve to play.

Alright...I'm jumping off my self absorbed soap box. Forgive my moment of self advertising...we'll return to the normal scheduled blogging.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Again...I don't get it...

To pre-clarify, I don't have anything against those who smoke. It is a choice that is entirely theirs to make. If there is one thing I completely and totally agree with and would fight for till my dying breath, it's freedom. People are free to smoke...free to get sick...and free to cack (how do you spell cack anyway?). I have indulged in my share of chokey pops. Hell, there were times when I could be found in the back room of Brother's Bar with a beer in one hand, a spitter in the other, all while smokin a cigarette. Try doing all that while playing pool....and trying to win. Back to my original point that I am just now getting to...wow..holy smoking tangent Batman. So, I was walking into the club at the usual 4 pm time slot to assault my body with tremendous amounts of weight and repetition (alright maybe not all that a tremendous amount) when I noticed a guy walking into the club in front of me sucked down a smoke. When I describe it as sucking it down, I mean sucking it down. This guy had lit cigarette literally seconds prior to getting to the entrance and he stood there pulling on that thing for all he was worth. He couldn't get the smoke into his lungs fast enough. The thought hit me..why the hell is this guy here? People coming to a health club are usually people trying to get or stay healthy. So here this guy is pumping as many carcinogens as he can into his lungs right before going into the club to work at getting or staying healthy? I am a relatively simple man people...I am having trouble with this. I hold no grudge against the dude for smoking...like I said...feedom man. I just see him being there as a contradiction that is all.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


Thanks to the blog of a friend, I actually have a new found respect for the kid. I have to admit the speech I heard about Obama's thoughts on Race and Politics was well written (possibly a great speech writer on the payroll) and very well presented. The guy is intelligent and has a great deal of charisma. He comes across as someone that can get the job done, bring folks together, heal the nation, and maybe, just maybe, give the world a coke and a smile (in the spirit of those commercials from the 70's). I listen to Hillary and I hear more of the same thing we have heard for 20 years. Oh well....I guess I have to throw all the support of Jackamania behind my man Obama. Consider it done.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Where is the dis-connect?

Is it strange that people who belong to a fitness club fight like bastards to get the closest parking spot to the front door that thy can? It's a fitness club ass wipes. Doesn't that go against some sort of obvious rule somewhere? I don't want to have to walk all the way to the front door of the fitness club so I can go in an either walk, run, or ride at least a mile or so on a treadmill, elliptical, StairMaster, or stationary bike. God forbid I get winded walking to the front door from the parking lot. JEEZ!!! Maybe I'm not smart enough to put two and two together, alright I must not be smart enough to add two and two because I don't get it. I was at said fitness club today to once again hit the weights hard and heavy and people were literally waiting at the front door in their cars for people to come out in hopes that they were parked in the front spot. UNBELIEVABLE!!!! I would even venture to say this begs to be included as an entry in Done as a Society.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Now I am really confused.....damnit!!!!

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Haven't posted one of these in a while

Your Rockstar Name Is...

Axl Danger

I can't stand it.....stupid Minnesota driver's

You people may be getting sick and tired of my ranting and raving about the fact that Minnesota is full of dumbass stupid shit drivers. This morning was no different. I have a simple question. Why is it that people never seem willing to merge in behind others that have been in the same lane for miles? Another question, why the hell would someone behind you blow by you in the right lane...only to pull in front of you(without at least a flash of a turn signal by the way) only to slam on the brakes and make a left fucking turn? What the hell is that all about? These fucking people need to be taken out back and beaten about the skull. Who the hell do they think they are? Does the sun shine outta there ass? Is their existence any more important than the rest of ours? Do these people have a conscious? Do they have morals? Do any of them have a soul? Fuck no...these people are shit heads! They have no place in society...there people cause road rage for cryin out loud!!

I have said my piece...I know I have anger issues for I am Anakin Skywalker incarnate...my only hope is that my son can bring me back from the Dark Side some day. Until then I shall be known as Darth....Vader. May the Dark Side be with you.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Dude...yer cool.....

This is a message to the nimrod I met up with at the corner of Flagstaff and Finch Way this morning on my way to work. This kid had to be in high school. He was driving a Ford circa 1987, a piece of shit to be sure with more holes than President Bush's justification for going into Iraq. So there we were at the intersection and by law he had the right of way. He floored it spinning his right rear tire and swung around the corner. I thought to myself...in this kids head, he thinks what he did was the coolest thing. I sat there and thought..man that was tough to do in a two wheel drive pick up with no weight in the back on wet pavement...dude yer cool. Fuckin moron.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Matt Foley...motivational speaker

Had to do it....classic Chris Farley

Monday, March 10, 2008

Translation from Jerry's blog...see below

For those of you actually interested in the translation of the comments I made regarding Jerry's blog entry titled "End of an Error" please reas below...(my god people you must be bored silly if you're here reading this now)

I dislike people who are dumb...particularily when the dumbness causes other smart people more work. Oh no...this blog entry about chuckles (a nickname given by Black Wolf) is making me dumb too. Must escape......blarg (actually there is no translation for blarg...I actually meant blarg)

Friday, March 07, 2008

Let's get something straight...

I don't like talking politics....I see it as pointless blather really. There is one thing that is bothering me though. If anyone truly thinks that if a Democrat wins the White house that the troops will all be coming home may be suffering from delusions. Don't kid yerselves people...I want our kids home too, however I don't see it happening. Each time Obama or Hilary make that claim I have to chuckle a bit, particularly when the crowd erupts with thunderous applause. Are these people that blind?

Now...now...all you bleedin heart liberals need not start calling for my head or jack my taxes up to all time highs. I ain't saying the 'publicans are right and I sure ain't supporting that bozo currently occupying the Oval Office. That moron has completely destroyed America's credibility such that whoever does win the office faces an insurmountable task of bringing us back from the shit that we are in. Not only do they have do some major...and I mean MAJOR damage control, they still have to address terrorism, the housing crisis (don't get me started on that topic..I want to puke every time I hear "poor me I can't afford my house anymore"...(YA SHOULDN'T HAVE BOUGHT BEYOND YER MEANS DIPSHIT), the recession (yes we are folks..maybe if we don't talk about it or say that word it will go away...you fucking morons), education, taxes (fucking gas tax), global warming (oh wait..that doesn't exist), Russia (you think that bomber fly over was just for fun?), North Korea (that guys is nuts...does he think those glasses are cool), Iran (he is crazy too), oh hell....the rest of the world that doesn't like us very much. Whoever does win the contest is in for a heap of shit that is for certain.

I look at my kids and pray for their future and that it is there for them. Our world is a fucked up place....will we make it or won't we..who knows. All I can do is hope I guess.

It's either that or I should put my money where my mouth is and run for office and make something happen. Nah...just kidding. Cripes I could hear the gasps from here.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

SNL...top 5 of all time

If you had the chance to answer, who would they be? Would you go for the classic "not ready for prime time players" or would it be the more recent flock that has either been brilliant or completely sucked? Out of all of them, I would have to put Belushi as the top. John was the epitome of the funny guy that was completely fucked up in real life..a tortured soul that made millions laugh their assess off whether it be on small screen or the big screen. I would have to say my next favorite was Dan Aykroyd...I like Dan because of his creativity in writing a good chunk of the sketches his best Elwood Blues, Fred Garvin male prostitute. Next I would put Gilda in there. She was funny..plain and simple her best...Roseanne Roseannadanna I would have to say Steve Martin would be my next choice a wild and crazy guy...and that is all I have to say about that. My final entry in the top 5 of all time would have to be Chris Farley...Matt Foley was a shining example even if he did live in a van down by the river

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

The end of an Era..what next

I pretty much knew I would see the day and now it is here. Brett Favre has hung it up..well at least hung up the Packer uniform. I would have to admit that the career overall was brilliant..even though I spent every minute hating it. I don't like the Packer's and I don't like the fans...fucking cheese heads. I have 2 favorite football teams, the Minnesota Vikings and whoever is playing the Packer's. He will most definitely be inducted into the Football Hall of Fame and go down in history as one of the greatest players to ever to ever throw the ball.

My one question is...will he stay gone? I have my doubts personally. Something his agent said raised the eyebrow for me. It would not surprise me if a team with a legitimate shot at a Superbowl could coax this kid out of retirement. How cool would it be to see the Cheese heads reaction to Brett wearing another teams jersey? Don't put it past Brett to do something like that....Junior did it.

What a day that would be...

Monday, March 03, 2008

It's March...bout freakin time

Thank the Maker..it's March. Spring is close and it can't come to soon. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy winter and the snow and everything it's just that by the time February comes along I am so sick of winter, snow, and the wind chills I feel like going Jack Nicholson in The Shining. For the last month or so, I have been going completely stir crazy waiting for the weather to warm up and spring to arrive. I was even depressed when I heard that stupid groundhog saw his freakin shadow.

Well....this weekend is daylight savings time again. I ain't even gonna be pissed about losing an hour of sleep, as long as we have longer daylight. I can't wait until I can drive with the windows down, sleep with the windows open, hell I am even looking forward to mowing the fuckin lawn. I look forward to sitting on my deck, beer in hand, listening to the birds chirping, my kids playing in the yard, and the smell of burgers grilling. My idea of heaven...so hurry up dammit!!!!

Again....idiot at the wheel

Again, I was made witness to the stupidity of yet another Minnesota Driver. In this episode we have Biotch driving a mini-van, yep a frickin mini-van. I am in the lane next to her heading north on Cedar Ave. After coming to a stop at yet another light, we were sitting there just south of 140th street. I happened to look over at this chick and here she was holding one of those fucking toy size dogs in her left side. The dog was practically sitting on her shoulder. As the light turned green, we both started heading north again..as we were driving I noticed that this chick was doing everything with her right hand. This included drinking coffee, using the turn signal, and putting on her makeup all while holding this fucking dog and trying to steer her stupid ass. Well..she didn't do much around the last part as she weaved into my lane at least half a dozen times. I laid on the horn and let her know she was number 1. The dog never moved....unbelievable!!!!

People of Minnesota...we must act against these fucking assholes and visit hell upon them with immediate and extreme prejudice. Who's with me????

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Done as a society....

Driving home from work today, I was talking to a buddy of mine about plans for the weekend. As I drove down a side street on my way to the gridlock that was 494, I took notice of something that has always boggled my mind. What is the purpose of those poor bastards that sit out in the elements dressed as the Statue of Liberty? I realize that they only show up during tax time, however I never got the gist of what they exactly were suppose to do. Other than looking absolutely ridiculous and waving at each of the passing cars..I don't get it. Not once has the fact that they are standing there caused me to think...jeez I should get my taxes done by whoever these poor schmucks are acting as human billboards for. I guess you have to ask the question; would you get your taxes done by someone who utilizes these chuckle heads to advertise for them? I wonder what the actual impact is for a company using this type of retarded advertising in getting people dumb enough to buy the gig in for an appointment. How much do these people make an hour, is there a training program before they issue the uniform? Are they equipped with mace in case some drunk fuck decides to get out and kick the holy hell outta them? Is there a union that they belong to, and if so what it there take? It can't be much that is for sure, look at the working conditions? Where do they find people willing enough to do the job?

To many questions and not enough answers. Done again as a Society.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Quote of the Day

We are what we choose to be....

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Quote for today....

Don't look down on someone unless you are helping them up.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Please stop the world I would like to get off...

Woke up this morning after a week of traveling to and fro. Let's see..Tuesday it was Denver, Wednesday it was Dallas, Thursday it was Atlanta, and then yesterday I finally set foot on the shores of my home state of Minnesota. To say the least it was exhausting..however add a case of bronchitis and it makes for a saga unlike any before. Traveling in good health can be taxing at best, however traveling while under the weather is torture. I spent most of the week coughing and hacking up stuff that I really couldn't identify..throw in the wheezing and it was like a comedy of errors. People were looking at me like I had the plague and for all intents and purposes I did (do). I come to you now from a bed which I have inhabited since yesterday at around 6:30 pm or so. Luckily, I paid a visit to the doctor on Monday and they set me up with a z-pack (azithromiacin to be exact). I have high hopes that this medication will work towards getting rid of the beasties that have taken over my lungs for the last 3 weeks.

Please...send me your prayers, send me your daughters, send me a hundred bucks.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Tumbleweed...you can't make it up...

I was perusing the msn news pages today and tumbled upon this story. Seems they have nicknamed that kid that survived that Tennessee tornado "tumbleweed". You just can't make shit like that up. This kid should have bought a lotto ticket the next day. Talk about a miracle. This youngin was picked up and thrown over 500 feet by one of natures most destructive forces. AMAZING....truly amazing.

Sunday, February 17, 2008


A true icon for the great west is the tumbleweed (also known as the Russian Thistle). I think in a lot of ways the tumbleweed gets a bad wrap. The sight of tumbleweed usually sparks thoughts of loneliness and despair. Little did I know that the actual act of tumbling is a natural process where by the weed spreads it seeds, making it a function of life as opposed to loneliness, death, and despair. I have studied up a bit on our friend the tumbleweed and I was surprised to find out that these plants can get as large as a Volkswagen. A VOLKSWAGEN???!!! If you see a tumbleweed the size of a volkswagen rolling along...I would fear for ones safety and get the hell outta the way. Respect the tumbleweed dammit.

Ya see what happens when your mind tanks???? All I had to go with was tumbleweeds and really how pathetic is that? When did you think you would see a day when tumbleweeds were actually blog worthy? This is a sad day my friends for this blog...scraping the bottom of the bucket. Me thinks the next blog entry better be more interesting than this one.

Come friends, let us away.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Again...I have nothing....crickets and rustling leaves

I have slipped into the 7th circle of hell.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Cool Superbowl Ad....

I liked this ad. Simplistic..yet clear in it's message. I particularily like the short cameo at the end of the ad and the actors obvious disgust of the stereotype that will hang like an Albatross around his neck until the end of his days. HA HA HA.

I wish I could do this

I had this happen today in a meeting I weas facilitating. We are in the middle of trying to figure out a relatively complex problem we are dealing with and this freakin chowderhead's phone rings. Expecting that he would silence the phone and continue as part of the meeting, I was shocked when he answered the phone and began a conversation. I was particularily pissed off when he gave me the index finger quiet sign when I asked him to can the call. At that point, I could have used the Dark Side of the Force to pop this fucker's head off.

American Gladiators...reborn from the ashes

Wow. Whoever said that life exists as a circle was right. Don't throw out those bell bottoms cuz if you wait long enough, they will be back in style. Each new fashion trend that comes along is just a ripped off version of something that had already happened. Much is true about current TV. American Gladiators is one of them, another one is the remake of Knight Rider coming next week. Is nothing sacred anymore? These Gladiators are similar to the old ones, all have silly ridiculous names and a equally ridiculous acts to support those names. Take Hellga for example...this bitch is huge, hideous, and what's with the name? Then there is Toa a wild and out of control nut from the bush. My favorite is Wolf...I hear before he got this gig he was a rodeo clown for 15 years...wow nice resume.

Knight Rider....now this one is looking pretty pathetic. One...you can't do KR without the Hoff, I don't care what you think about him and two...how can KITT be a Ford? A Ford???? What the hell are the writer's thinkin? They must have wrote that in seconds before they walked out on strike. You can't make KITT a Ford...he was a Pontiac Fire bird..Holy Ground Highlander...Holy Ground.

Alright..it continues

After some assurance from a few folks whose opinions I hold in pretty high regard, this blog will continue. My pity party is over. This blog will remain to provide an outlet for my badly written blather, rants, outbursts, and complete tirades.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Totally boring

I was reading some of my post throughout this year and something hit me. I can't write to save my life. Some of these entries are so bad, that I would prefer to shove broken glass in my eye. It is truly amazing how bad some of this crap is. I think this blog may have run it's course.

T-Minus 2 days till Jericho

One of my favorite shows is finally coming back to TV...it is about freakin time!!!!

Saturday, February 09, 2008

New York, NY

Yesterday I returned from yet another trip to Edison New Jersey. One of the nights I decided to take a trip into the city. Having never been to New York it was a new experience for a mid-western boy to say the least. Up until this trip, my only experience with public transportation had been the million or so miles I have logged in the air, a few times in a taxi, and even fewer times on the light rail system here in Minneapolis between the Mall of the Universe and the Metrodome. I have to say it is a very convenient way to get around, and it will take you anywhere. Granted there are some interesting people that take advantage of the subway systems in New York, but the thing that really hit me is how little they interact. I saw nothing but blank stares and very little in the form of personality. It was kind of depressing when I thought about it. People driven underground where it could be the middle of the day and you would never know it short of looking at a watch or a clock.

The city itself is very much alive at all hours of the day and night. Time Square was amazing...it was 9:30 at night and it looked like it was noon with all the lights. And the TV's...I would kill for the 150 foot widescreen TV I was watching CNN on. A short stop at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company and I was dining on a variety of shrimp (my faves of the seafood genre). After dinner it was a long walk to Ground Zero. It looked like any other construction site, however there was a certain heaviness in the air. There is a small memorial that is a record of the events as they happened the morning of September 11th as well as a wall much like the Vietnam Wall that lists all the heroes who lost there lives that day. For me, it was a very humbling experience as well as one that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. After spending some time at WTC, I head uptown towards Rockefeller Plaza. I saw where they shoot the NBC TODAY show and watched the people skating on the rink. It was getting late so I headed back to the Subway and took it out of the city.

Sorry for the lousy comentating on a trip to New York, I am going to have to go back when I have the time to see everything cuz I missed a shit load.


Saturday, February 02, 2008

I have nothing to say....

That's right...I got nothing.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Politics and you

I have added a YouTube link on the sidebar to exemplify the candidates stupidty.

American Idol..the stoopidity never ceases to amaze..

My wife is a fan of the American Idol phenom. I watch the first couple episodes and then I stop watching it. The reason that I usually only watch the first couple of episodes is the fact that the true meaning of stupidity and self righteousness comes out. These people come from miles around only to be told to fuck off by the judges, it cracks me up. These people for some reason actually have the thought that they are in some form or fashion...talented. The only talent I see is a talent for making themselves look like complete and total idiots. The part I really like is when they get the news of how incredibly untalented and shitty they are at singing, they leave in a huff calling Simon names and telling America that they will be back and take the world by storm. I say..don't quit yer fuckin day job assholes. YOU SUCK and that's the end of it. You aren't taking anything by storm except maybe the shitter. Go back to the backwater town you came from and disappear into obscurity where you fucking belong you morons. PLEASE!!!!! I can't believe how utterly stoopid these ass faces are.

As I am watching the show right this second, they are interviewing a mother of one of the contestants that states that her only reason for existing is American Idol. What kind of a looser is this chick...and she is enabling her fruit cake son to go to audition after audition...11 and counting from what I understand. What a couple of fuck ups.

I can't stand it...but I love to see these fucks go down in flames...it brings a certain satisfaction knowing that these pukes have been completely destroyed. I am off to bask in their misery.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Family Guy: Blue Harvest I WANT YOU

Classic...classic. And I am not even a Family Guy fan.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Done as a Society...part III

I have tried to hold my tongue and not flip out over the freakin caucus crap going on in this country of ours. It has gotten to the point where I can't take the stupidity anymore. For this particular blog entry I will leave those Republican sum biotches alone and focus my rage on the stoopid Dumbocrats. One short positive note...I have lived to see the day when an African American and a Woman are running for president. Up until recently I was amazed that we actually were on the edge of making history as a nation, then the fuckin bottom dropped out. I heard a news report commenting on a few things the candidates had said or at least how they had been interpreted. Obama had called Hilary out for playing the gender card, and Hilary had all but called Obama out for playing the race card. Could this actually be happening??? I can't stand it...please...please....please just focus on the issues you morons...that is what the people care about..not yer petty personal differences.

Hope is lost....I am moving to Canada.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

A new year...a group of resolutions

Well people it is a new year. It is that time when all of us look back on the previous year and judge ourselves. I have taken the look back and reviewed my progress as a member of society, a father, a husband, a friend, and a son. The following is a list of things I would like to improve upon as I continue this journey of life.

I vow to continue the work outs that I have fired up again as of 2 weeks into December. I think I have hit the 21 days it takes top make something a habit if you believe that bullshit. My family history of heart disease, high blood pressure, and massively high cholesterol should be sufficient to keep the fear foremost in my brain. Not to mention the health scare I had earlier in December where I actually thought I was having a heart attack (I digress).

I need to make sure we spend more quality time as a family. Last Friday we took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese for pizza and games and we had a great time. My son likes playing the game where you roll the balls up into the big loops to get points. He hasn't quite got the hang of it yet as his rendition of the game is to take said ball, walk up to the loops and whip the ball overhand into the loops. Although he has an unorthodox way of playing the game, he did hit the 10,000 point loop five times resulting in a massive amount of tickets.

I need to spend more quality time with the wife. Insert evil laugh here.

I need to find a hobby of some sort. This has been a tough one as I am not really interested in any one thing enough to exert enough effort constituting hobby status. My problem is a get bored with things very quickly...a result of an obvious attention deficit disorder (what was I just thinking about?)

Last..but not least I am am going to take a brighter, more tolerant look at society. I admit that many of the blog entries from last year were a bit over the top and I am turning over a new leaf. You get nothing but duckies and bunnies from this kid from here on out. I must be tolerant of my fellow people and accept them as a whole without prejudice and judgement.

Actually, who I am kidding.

Society..look out cause there is a new Shire Reeve in town and he is just waiting to bust a foot off in yer ass the minute you do something fucking stupid. You have been forewarned. And for all you fuckers out there that are thinking right now, who does this chump think he is, and what right does he have to scoff at us. It's America jerk off...if you don't like it change the fuckin channel, there ain't a gun to yer freakin empty cranium. Ya see chuckle head it's called democracy. You have your opinion and outlook on life and I have mine. You may look up at the sky and in that freakin small head of yours believe it's green..that's your deal. I would look at you and let you know yer full of shit, that's the way it works.

All opinions expressed on this blog are those of the owner of said blog and most definitely not that of yours. Deal with that one pin head.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

I am IRONMAN!!! Well actaully Colossus

Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Colossus

Colossus is the strongest X-Man physically. His love for his family and his sister Illiana make him strong. Although he can be prone to fits of rage, he has a big heart under that organic steel skin. Powers: Can change his skin into organic steel making him nearly invunerable and exponentially increasing his strength







Jean Grey








Emma Frost