Fucking Gawkers

So..I am coming home from work today. I had just merged onto Cedar from 494 and began the southern trek. I had barely been on Cedar for a minute when...GRIDLOCK! Traffic was backed up all the way across the bridge. We all inched along at 2-3 mph. I finally made it across the bridge only to find out all the traffic was caused by a van parked on the side of the road in the southbound lane. THAT WAS IT??? A fucking van parked on the side of the road caused that level of gridlock? What the hell is wrong with all you Minnesota driver's? A car is parked on the side of the road and you have to slow to a fucking crawl? This van was parked so far off the highway it was on the grass. What...were you all afraid someone was going to swing the door open at the last second? The fucking door would have had to been 35 feet long!!! Muther puss bucket you fucking people anger me. Jeez..better slow down in case that door swings open!!! You ought to be pulled out of your car and pummeled till severe bleeding occurs..at least then there would be something to actually slow down and gawk at. Damn rubber neck's!!!! Drive on the dirt roads losers!!!! AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH Uh-oh...I think I heard something pop in my head....musta been a vessel.