Hey, this is my place. Grab a seat and relax for a bit. If you are expecting deep philosophical blather you are going to be dissappointed. You have been warned as some of the opinions discussed on this blog are the opinions of the owner and may or may not align with your own.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Minnesota Nice....my ass!!!

Alright..it's taken a while to work off that turkey buzz so it's been a few days since my last confession..I mean Blog. In the spirit of the season that is upon us, I gotta comment on a couple of things that piss me off about freakin Minnesota Driver's. First I'd like to find out just who the hell termed the phrase "Minnesota Nice". Where the hell was this yahoo from and what color was the sky in his/her world. It must have been some hunyuk from outta state that caught someone on a good day here and then stereotyped all of us. From my perspective, there ain't no Minnesota Nice...not when you turn any of 'em loose on the roadways. There are many idiots out there that for some reason must think that the sun shines outta there ass..and the rest of us should yield to them. For the purpose of this blog we'll concentrate on two of those types.

The first type that I would like to pull through the driver window and pummel are the jerk offs that merge at the last possible second and sometimes well after that. Who do these morons think they are? These people are the ass wipes that cause the back-ups and traffic by flying up lanes and merging at the last second...the last second. Doesn't it make you want to stomp on the gas pedal and run that son of a bitch into the guardrail? I sure do. A situation today was a classic example. I was exiting from one highway to another and this douche bag is in the lane next to me speeding around the corner to try and get into the lane I was already in, keep in mind that there is no one behind me and plenty of room to get in line. This jerk not only flies past me, but tries to get in front of another vehicle that was right in front of me. As this guy swerves in front of the vehicle directly in front of me, that vehicle pulls out and passes the ass munch that just pulled in front of him..then proceeds to slam on the brakes causing said ass munch to shat in his pants and slam on his brakes. Even though I can not and will not condone the tomfoolery that I had witnessed, I laughed my ass off in the car and raised a fist in salute to the guy that wasn't gonna stand for it.

The second type are the asses that are turning left on a signal..they can see that traffic is backing up and yet they continue into the intersection and sit there even though the light has turned red and you have the green light. Can you go? HELL NO...cuz this shithead is just sitting there in the middle of the intersection. They won't look at you either..nope won't do it..they just sit there. I was fortunate enough to experience one of these complete tools today as I waited at a red light after enjoying lunch with my wife and kids. This stupid chick just can't afford to miss this light and pulls out into the intersection (on the yellow mind you) and just ignores the fact that the rest of us who have the right of way have to wait for her to pull her piece of shit car outta the way. And to top it all off she is on here sparkly cell phone acting like a superstar as though she is important (Those are two other topics for which I will share my opinion on in future episodes). If I happen to at the front of the line when those situations occur, I enjoy pulling within inches of the side of the vehicle and laying on the horn...not a quick beep beep mind you..but a constant drawn out honk with the complimentary flipping of the bird and a "get the f*#k outta the way asshole or bitch" as the situation warrants.

Alright....that was good. I feel better. Man this blog stuff is alright. Good way to vent. My apologies in advance to all of you that may have been offended by the exercising of my right to free speech. If you feel offended..change the damn channel!

1 comment:

Jason said...

I drive less than four miles to work each day. There's a reason for that.

I don't want to go to jail.