My fellow man (in this case woman) never ceases to amaze me at the complete self absorbidness (sorry Jason if that ain't a word). I am driving today and I come rolling up to a left hand turn lane where a mini-van was already waiting for the light to turn. I come to a stop and wait along with said mini-van. The light turns green and nothing, the mini van continues to wait there. I can see inside that the visor on the driver side is down and this lady is putting on her fucking make-up. I lay on the horn and she continues to put her make-up on. Finally she flips up the visor and tears through the yellow light to make it. I am sitting there ready to melt down. Does this stupid bitch think she is the center of the fucking universe? Is the sun shining out her ass hole? Who the hell does this chick think she is? UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!! As I wait there for the light to yet again turn green I am creating all kinds of scenarios where this stoopid biotch meets her demise. The light turns green and I roll through the intersection and continue on my way. For whatever reason the traffic gods must have heard my plea....I passed her a bit further down the road pulled off to the side of the road as the trooper wrote her a well deserved ticket. I couldn't help but laugh as I drove by flipping her off through the passenger window and luckily she was looking right at me when I told her through that certain finger gesture that she was #1. What was that Star Trek quote again? Oh yes.
Ah Kirk...my old friend, have you ever heard the Klingon proverb "Revenge is a dish best served cold?" It is very cold in Minnesota.
Here's to you Biotch....(BWA...HA HA HA HA HA)
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7 comments:
I think possibly you spend too much time on the road sir.
I know....I would rather remove myself from the situation, however I can't escape the roadways nor can I escape these idiots.
ROFLMAO!
Now it's MY turn to be scared... I had a very similar situation happen to me on the way home tonight. Driving down 35W south on my way home from work at a comfortable 65mph, in the new extended right lane that exits to Crystal Lake Road (Cty Rd 42), when I rapidly come upon a car trapped behind a flatbead semi. Said semi was doing, oh, MAYBE 40 in a 70. So I merge successfully into the middle lane to pass. All of a sudden this complete DIPSHIT starts merging into the middle lane, NO BLINKER, & I have to basically slam on the breaks to avoid him. I whip into the far left lane, roll down my window & blast the horn, flipping him off as I fly by at 60 (yes, this would be flying when he's doing, oh, 35 at this point).
I swear to GOD they need to institute IQ tests for a) driver's licenses & b) reproducing. Oh, & I think you automatically lose 100 IQ points when you drive the minivan off the lot.
/end rant
Mike,
Did this scenario ever run through your mind while you are waiting behind soccer mom #10 at the light:
She sits there for majority of the green light. As you grow impatient your vehicle transforms (Incredible Hulk-style .... You won't like me when I am angry) into GraveDigger and you MONSTER, MONSTER, MONSTER TRUCK (say it with a little echo) right over the top of her ass and make the light with plenty of time to spare bouncing across the intersection on your huge ass tires.
What do you think? Wouldn't that make your day complete?
Nik..
There are two types of people the world could live without:
1. Morons driving Mini Vans, particularily those with soccer ball stickers in the back window.
2. Morons driving any vehicle built by BMW.
For some reason, the minute normal people get into these types of vehciles they lose their freakin minds.
Dave...I like that scenario quite a bit and will be utilizing it the next time I get stuck behind some mini van driving soccer mommy biotch.
LOL I like Dave's idea.
Either that, or your car turns into BumbleBee & goes all Transformers on her mini-van, makeup applying ass.
Transformers... more than meets the eye!
Ah, just tap her bumper and see if she stabs her eye with her mascara brush. (I know, I am evil).
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