Happy Birthday Jason

Due to computer issues while on the road (this week I am in the heart of Georgia) I was unable to post an entry to wish my friend Jason a Happy Birthday. Unfortunately, I don't have the talent to transpose his head onto the body of a Sasquatch although that would look pretty cool. Anyway..Happy Birthday man...hope it was a good one.

Shitter's full

Well....I haven't posted anything regarding bodily functions in a while. My daughter..bless her heart has a knack for laying turds that are so large they are constantly clogging the toilet, this morning was no exception. After a night out with a group of Pi Lams I came downstairs this morning to the sound of chaos. My daughter came out of the bathroom screaming something about the toilet. "Daddy, the toilet is full" she said as she was walking back into the bathroom. I followed her into the bathroom where much to my shock lay possibly one of the largest piece of human turd I had ever seen. It was no wonder that the toilet was unable to accept such a large turd. It literally filled the entire bowl. I am still not sure how the hell she passed something that size without splitting in two. UNBELIEVABLE. I had to break that sum' biotch up in order to unplug the toilet. The only thing I could compare it to is Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo after he had gained approx 15-20 lbs.

Alright..another freaking post

A buddy of mine is sick of seeing the "Cool Hwip" post. So here is something new...so there I was in the congo. Oh and Rich...."Not four years, but a lifetime"

Family Guy - Cool Whip

I like Family guy....

A funny story...pi lam long ago

Back in the day...a funny thing happened. This was definitely funny ha ha. A few PI LAM brothers who will remain nameless to protect the innocent were hanging out at the Crack House as we usually did.

The name Crack House does have a bit of a controversial connotation, however for the sake of this blog entry that will have to be discussed in depth at a future point in time.

As previously stated a few of us brethren were hanging out at the aforementioned Crack House. I believe we were watching some television and shooting the shit; I was on the couch, MH was sitting on the floor, O'C was on the couch, and a few others were scattered around the room. Quite suddenly another brother who had been in his room came flying out of said room running across the floor. Upon approaching MH who was sitting on the floor, RE lept in a quite graceful manner over the top of MH. Upon reaching the pinnacle of the leap his ass was positioned directly above MH's head and at that point RE unleashed an air biskit that sent MH and the rest of us into convulsions. MH's convulsions were due to the cloud of smoke that had enveloped his head and the rest of us were laughing uncontrollably.

Truly, one of the funniest things I had ever been witness to or heard of.

Monty python - Black knight (star wars)

Way back, I remember a Friday night staying over at a buddies place. My friends were fans of both comedians and comedy movies. This night had us watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail. One scene in particular I happed to find fucking hilarious. So much so mind you that I practically wore out the VCR playing it over and over and over again. For posterity's sake and my own amusement I have posted that particular scene (with a bit of a Star Wars flair). One word...hilarity.

Who the hell is the last of the Final 5?

Who is it already? They have been throwing out the teases for a while now. We know who 4 of the final 5 are. They just aren't gonna give up the last one are they? They're pushing pretty hard to make us all think it's Starbuck (I ain't buyin it). So who the frak is it? Apollo? No way!!! Adama? Nope! The president? That would actually be pretty lame. OMG...could it be that Baltar is the last of the final 5? That's to easy....he is just plain cracked. What if it ends up being the expendable crew member in the spirit of Star Trek? Nope. Well..I am open for suggestions...

It's been a while...

It has been a while since I have posted anything. Not much has been coming to mind in all actuality. Life has been on cruise control this month. I, like you, are sick and tired of the cold. I wish spring would shit or get off the pot. A hearty "you are poopy heads" to my friends in Oklahoma who have been enjoying warmer weather. Other than that...there is no news fit for print.

And so it is...the alpha and the omega. BSG.

It is with mixed emotion that I enter this blog. Friday will be the premiere of the final season of Battlestar Galactica. This is a show that I have really taken to. I'll admit I was a fan of the old series cheesy as it was and I was very suspect of this new version of the old scene. After being glued to the TV for the last 4 years, this version has a solid plot, believable characters, and great special effects. I will be sad to see it go, however very interested in how the bring the series to a close. Now what am i gonna do with my Friday nights???? I may have to start reading books...gasp!!! I ain't that desperate...bwa...ha...ha...ha...and uh ha.

A senseless act of self promoting..apologies in advance.

Earlier this week...I was at the club brutally abusing this aging body with all kinds of weight. I have gone to a 3 day training schedule. Day 1 I hit chest, shoulders, triceps, and abs. Day 2 I'll hit back, biceps, and abs. Day 3 I'll hit legs and abs. I have been going at a pretty good clip for about 45 days now and finally I seeing some results. Earlier this week I was in Day 1 mode and working the bench. I felt relatively good and figured what the hell..I hadn't done it since I started and each time I am there I see these chuckle heads maxing out on the bench. I threw 275 on the bar and put it up 3 times....YEAH BABY!!!! OH YEAH..in the immortal words of the Macho Man. Even though I am older than dirt...there is still a bit of fuel in the tank. The only problem is that I burned just about all of it up putting that damn bar up 3 times. Oh well. Had to at least try and show these young fucks that us old folks still deserve to play.

Alright...I'm jumping off my self absorbed soap box. Forgive my moment of self advertising...we'll return to the normal scheduled blogging.

Again...I don't get it...

To pre-clarify, I don't have anything against those who smoke. It is a choice that is entirely theirs to make. If there is one thing I completely and totally agree with and would fight for till my dying breath, it's freedom. People are free to smoke...free to get sick...and free to cack (how do you spell cack anyway?). I have indulged in my share of chokey pops. Hell, there were times when I could be found in the back room of Brother's Bar with a beer in one hand, a spitter in the other, all while smokin a cigarette. Try doing all that while playing pool....and trying to win. Back to my original point that I am just now getting to...wow..holy smoking tangent Batman. So, I was walking into the club at the usual 4 pm time slot to assault my body with tremendous amounts of weight and repetition (alright maybe not all that a tremendous amount) when I noticed a guy walking into the club in front of me sucked down a smoke. When I describe it as sucking it down, I mean sucking it down. This guy had lit cigarette literally seconds prior to getting to the entrance and he stood there pulling on that thing for all he was worth. He couldn't get the smoke into his lungs fast enough. The thought hit me..why the hell is this guy here? People coming to a health club are usually people trying to get or stay healthy. So here this guy is pumping as many carcinogens as he can into his lungs right before going into the club to work at getting or staying healthy? I am a relatively simple man people...I am having trouble with this. I hold no grudge against the dude for smoking...like I said...feedom man. I just see him being there as a contradiction that is all.

Obama...Obama....yay...Obama

Thanks to the blog of a friend, I actually have a new found respect for the kid. I have to admit the speech I heard about Obama's thoughts on Race and Politics was well written (possibly a great speech writer on the payroll) and very well presented. The guy is intelligent and has a great deal of charisma. He comes across as someone that can get the job done, bring folks together, heal the nation, and maybe, just maybe, give the world a coke and a smile (in the spirit of those commercials from the 70's). I listen to Hillary and I hear more of the same thing we have heard for 20 years. Oh well....I guess I have to throw all the support of Jackamania behind my man Obama. Consider it done.

Where is the dis-connect?

Is it strange that people who belong to a fitness club fight like bastards to get the closest parking spot to the front door that thy can? It's a fitness club ass wipes. Doesn't that go against some sort of obvious rule somewhere? I don't want to have to walk all the way to the front door of the fitness club so I can go in an either walk, run, or ride at least a mile or so on a treadmill, elliptical, StairMaster, or stationary bike. God forbid I get winded walking to the front door from the parking lot. JEEZ!!! Maybe I'm not smart enough to put two and two together, alright I must not be smart enough to add two and two because I don't get it. I was at said fitness club today to once again hit the weights hard and heavy and people were literally waiting at the front door in their cars for people to come out in hopes that they were parked in the front spot. UNBELIEVABLE!!!! I would even venture to say this begs to be included as an entry in Done as a Society.

Now I am really confused.....damnit!!!!

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

Haven't posted one of these in a while

Your Rockstar Name Is...

Axl Danger

What's Your Rockstar Name?

I can't stand it.....stupid Minnesota driver's

You people may be getting sick and tired of my ranting and raving about the fact that Minnesota is full of dumbass stupid shit drivers. This morning was no different. I have a simple question. Why is it that people never seem willing to merge in behind others that have been in the same lane for miles? Another question, why the hell would someone behind you blow by you in the right lane...only to pull in front of you(without at least a flash of a turn signal by the way) only to slam on the brakes and make a left fucking turn? What the hell is that all about? These fucking people need to be taken out back and beaten about the skull. Who the hell do they think they are? Does the sun shine outta there ass? Is their existence any more important than the rest of ours? Do these people have a conscious? Do they have morals? Do any of them have a soul? Fuck no...these people are shit heads! They have no place in society...there people cause road rage for cryin out loud!!

I have said my piece...I know I have anger issues for I am Anakin Skywalker incarnate...my only hope is that my son can bring me back from the Dark Side some day. Until then I shall be known as Darth....Vader. May the Dark Side be with you.

Dude...yer cool.....

This is a message to the nimrod I met up with at the corner of Flagstaff and Finch Way this morning on my way to work. This kid had to be in high school. He was driving a Ford circa 1987, a piece of shit to be sure with more holes than President Bush's justification for going into Iraq. So there we were at the intersection and by law he had the right of way. He floored it spinning his right rear tire and swung around the corner. I thought to myself...in this kids head, he thinks what he did was the coolest thing. I sat there and thought..man that was tough to do in a two wheel drive pick up with no weight in the back on wet pavement...dude yer cool. Fuckin moron.

Matt Foley...motivational speaker

Had to do it....classic Chris Farley

Translation from Jerry's blog...see below

For those of you actually interested in the translation of the comments I made regarding Jerry's blog entry titled "End of an Error" please reas below...(my god people you must be bored silly if you're here reading this now)

I dislike people who are dumb...particularily when the dumbness causes other smart people more work. Oh no...this blog entry about chuckles (a nickname given by Black Wolf) is making me dumb too. Must escape......blarg (actually there is no translation for blarg...I actually meant blarg)

Let's get something straight...

I don't like talking politics....I see it as pointless blather really. There is one thing that is bothering me though. If anyone truly thinks that if a Democrat wins the White house that the troops will all be coming home may be suffering from delusions. Don't kid yerselves people...I want our kids home too, however I don't see it happening. Each time Obama or Hilary make that claim I have to chuckle a bit, particularly when the crowd erupts with thunderous applause. Are these people that blind?

Now...now...all you bleedin heart liberals need not start calling for my head or jack my taxes up to all time highs. I ain't saying the 'publicans are right and I sure ain't supporting that bozo currently occupying the Oval Office. That moron has completely destroyed America's credibility such that whoever does win the office faces an insurmountable task of bringing us back from the shit that we are in. Not only do they have do some major...and I mean MAJOR damage control, they still have to address terrorism, the housing crisis (don't get me started on that topic..I want to puke every time I hear "poor me I can't afford my house anymore"...(YA SHOULDN'T HAVE BOUGHT BEYOND YER MEANS DIPSHIT), the recession (yes we are folks..maybe if we don't talk about it or say that word it will go away...you fucking morons), education, taxes (fucking gas tax), global warming (oh wait..that doesn't exist), Russia (you think that bomber fly over was just for fun?), North Korea (that guys is nuts...does he think those glasses are cool), Iran (he is crazy too), oh hell....the rest of the world that doesn't like us very much. Whoever does win the contest is in for a heap of shit that is for certain.

I look at my kids and pray for their future and that it is there for them. Our world is a fucked up place....will we make it or won't we..who knows. All I can do is hope I guess.

It's either that or I should put my money where my mouth is and run for office and make something happen. Nah...just kidding. Cripes I could hear the gasps from here.