Oprah Winfrey or Open Windbag?

I have been saying it for years.....Oprah's following is much more of a cult than anything else. All she has to do a mention a word like "yuck" referring to the beef industry and her flocks automatically obey. These mindless drones will change the direction of their life based on a few uttered words from Oprah. The scary thing about it is...she believes her own hype. The guests that she has on her show are held to such high praise and her flocks accept what they are saying as a gospel of sorts. Finally...the sham is slowly being revealed as the sensible people are holding this woman's feet to the fire. Believe me people....this lady puts her pants on one leg at a time, has bad breath, bed head, and farts in the bowl like the rest of us. She ain't a prophet...she is a regular person like the rest of us, well, aside from the 2.7 billion that she has milked all you mindless fucks for. Ultimately the fact that she is a quadrillionaire is due to your own ignorance. Now all you feminists that are going to toss me under the bus for being "threatened" by a powerful woman can go and screw yerselves...sorry to say that ain't the case. I am simply stating the obvious, Oprah is an individual that is full of herself and has suckered millions of people into believing her crap.

Blogs..facebook...twitter....WTF

Does anyone really care enough about anything we are saying to enable all these outlets to continue? Why would any of us think that we are significant enough to spout our crap about our less that stellar lives? People like this dipshit Perez Hilton started as a blogger and for some reason he thinks his fuckin opinion counts. What a fucking tool!!!! Self depricating fuckers....all of us. Turn the lights off and shut the hell up ya losers.

A step to far...if true

Alright....if this is true...I have to disagree with the Democrats...more so Obama. I was reading the news on MSN.com and ran across a blurb about the CEO of GM stepping down. Upon reading the story it stated that the CEO was stepping down at the request of the White House. THE WHITE HOUSE???? Does the President have the authority to do this? I am not saying that the "Big 3" are saints by any means, but I am saying I ain't comfortable with the government having all this control. There are to many lobbyists and special interest groups that have agendas that do not speak to the support of the American people. A government by the people and for the people seems to be slipping away a little more every year. I am no political genius, nor do I play one on tv and my opinion may be way off. I can say that I am uncomfortable with the way this is playing out.

False Propaganda...I hope...

I may have heard it all on this one. Driving into work this morning I caught a news story that described some legislation that is being shopped at the Minnesota capital regarding taxes on the miles that we drive. What the hell is that about? Is it more propaganda by the republican chumps to strike fear into the hearts of the public or is it actually true that the freakin dummacrats actually want to yank more freedom away from us? Both parties are so full of shit these days...I may have to go independent out of principle.

Pelosi with her nose in the air.

I am a bit disappointed with Ms. Pelosi and her shenanigans. It would seem that she may have it in her head that her poop doesn't stink. She is taking a few to many liberties in my opinion. Using military aircraft to haul her ass around in addition to hauling her friends and family around. Those are paid for via my tax dollars and I don't appreciate her misuse of them. A little to high and mighty for me. Nancy...remember why your there and who you are there for, it's not to abuse the perks particularly with times being the way they are.

AIG

Alright...my opinion. Should government have the ability to compromise a legal contract? I am not in favor of the pukes that are responsible for the major league f-up with AIG that crippled the company getting paid for being idiots. I am also not in favor of the government taking that kind of control of private business. Does that set a precident for future power and the abuse of that power? I am starting to get a bit uncomfortable with the extremes of both parties. To much of one thing is never good. I am all for change....just not a swing all the way to one side.

Have we learned nothing?

So I am watching the news this evening and catch the last part of a story they were doing about Wall Street and bonuses. Bonuses? Who in the hell is getting bonuses? The same assholes that got us into this problem are getting bonuses. To top it all off the bonuses they are collecting are from the very same dollars that were part of the bail out. Is there no end to the fucking greed of these sons of bitches? I heard Barack's comments and he called them shameful. Shameful???? That's it? Obama you better get your ass in there and roll some heads dammit. Shameful? Those fuckers need to pay!!!! American people....good people are losing there jobs and these bastards are getting bonuses paid for by MY TAX DOLLARS!!! Go and get them Obama...that is why I put you into office. I want this money taken back and then a great deal of accountability for those pieces of shit. Consider me a pissed off American with little to no tolerance for people that take advantage of the system resulting in the less fortunate getting fucked!!!!

I said my piece....no piss off all of you!!!!

Obama.

I would like to make it known for the record that I voted for Obama. This country needs a change. 8 years of George Bush has brought us to our knees. Whether he followed his conscious or not...we are in pretty bad shape. Anyway....Obama. Here is the problem I am having; Obamamania is sweeping the nation. Why is that a bad thing you ask? It is starting to feel like a cult movement. I was up a little late last weekend and caught a commercial hosted by Montel Williams who was proud to be offering presidential coins with Barack's likeness on them. That part isn't the scary part. The part I took issue with is the fact that his face was right beside George Washington's. What possible comparison can there be between George and Obama? George has accomplished something (Father of our country, founding member of our government, etc.) What exactly has Obama done? Well due to the fact that he has not taken office yet..from a presidential perspective he hasn't done anything yet. Other things that I scratch my head about are comparison's between Obama and Abe. WHAT??? What comparison??? They both spent time in Illinois?

I hope all the hype is warranted. I really do. How long will the hysteria last as he takes office and things don't happen fast enough for the masses? I guess we'll find out.

I don't get it....who the hell cares!!

Is it me...or I am I the only one that doesn't give two shits about whether or not Oprah has packed on a few pounds. I am struggling with the amount of television time being dedicated to how broken and angry Oprah is at herself for adding to her mass. With the billions this chick has at her disposal...who cares!!!!!!!! My only advice for her is to take a serious look at who she has on her staff. You know damn well she has a personal chef, dietitian, and trainer. From the looks of it Ms. Winfrey they seem to be doing an awesome job!!! Fire them for cryin out loud! Don't waste the public's time publishing a magazine about yer larger than average rear end. I mean to measure the insanity of it all...Larry King dedicated almost an entire show about yer weight fluctuations. Everything happening in the world and that is what the lead interview is? Can anyone be any more self absorbed? Sadly the answer most likely is yes.

Here is my advice.....quit stuffing yer pie hole!!!!

Something completely from a guys point of view.

I read this on a blog tonight and laughed my ass off. This guy is actually married although I don't think his wife read his blog. The following opnions are not necesarily in line with this blogs author. Any and all comments are those of another hilarious as they are.

Rules that men wish women knew:

1. If you think you might be fat, you are. Don’t ask us. Just get your fat ass in a gym.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up put it down.

3. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again!

5. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

6. Sometimes, he’s not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Don’t ask him what he’s thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different, it’s just like every other cat.

9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

10. Sunday = Sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

11. Shopping is not a sport.

12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

13. You have enough clothes.

14. You have too many shoes.

15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don’t expect us to like it.

16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.

17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.

18. No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.

20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

23. Your Mom doesn’t have to be our best friend.

24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

25. Check your oil.

26. Don’t give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

27. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.

28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

30. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

32. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

33. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.

34. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

35. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.

36. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

37. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.

38. Telling us that the models in the men’s magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it’s certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.

39. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

40. Anyone can buy condoms.

AND FINALLY,

41. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

Trounced it is...

Again I sit here with my hopes dashed upon the rocks of the island of ill repute. The Eagles came in a freakin Wild Card Team and are now leaving with a win. I had a bad feeling when it took us till yesterday to sell enough tickets to avoid a blackout. A blackout??!! I spent the majority of the afternoon yelling and cussing at my TV knowing the inevitable was soon to pass. It doesn't seem to matter that this Viking team is completely different than the '98 team that left me crushed and weeping in a small Chicago apartment all those years ago (I still loath you Gary Andersen); they still manage to do the same stupid shit year in and year out. All the hype this year about our defense was worthless. All those sacks don't mean shit without a win Allen. In the end you are losers again.

The anger will pass and sooner or later we will all begin hoping again as next season approaches. We will again actually believe we have a chance in hell of making the post season and beyond. We live by the definition of insanity..we do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. I am afraid we will never learn. Oh well...to next season.

Vikes post season...to trounce or be trounced...

8 years ago I sat and watched a doomed Vikings team lose in the post season again. I am a true Vikings fan..that being defined as a person willing to have their heart ripped out and stomped on multiple times only to come back year after year hoping that this is the one. Here we are yet again at the edge of the precipice staring in the face of impending doom hoping against hope that we have a chance to achieve what may seem impossible. The Giants did it last year against all odds, why can't we? This weekend will prove to be an interesting test. I'll see you all on the other side.

Cool...very cool...

For you weather buffs out there this phenomena is formed by triangular ice crystals reflecting light from the city. Very cool to see for real.

New Year......do we dare to hope?

Well..2009 is here. We are all another year closer to the end of the Mayan Calendar on Dec.12.2012. What happens then? Armageddon? End of life as we know it? Dogs and Cats living together? Mass Hysteria? Maybe..maybe not. Will Klatu and Gort show up and kick our bottoms because we are a stupid, warlike, and destructive species? Stranger things could happen I guess. We are a year older although most evidence does not point to the fact that we are any wiser. Well..maybe. We did vote Obama into the White House. Now we all have to hope and pray (if you're a religious lot) that he has the skills and is able to do everything that everyone seems to think he can. With everything going on between Hamas as Israel he will be tested soon enough. At least Bush will no longer be a factor..well except for maybe the ghost of his stupidity.

For the record I would like to wish my friends both old and new a safe and prosperous year.

Thanksgiving...good times

Well.....yet another Thanksgiving holiday has come and gone and that rumbling you hear in the near distance is Christmas. Man the years seem to fly by.

There is a pivotal point when the years starting moving at light speed. I have done much research about this and I am fairly certain my hypothesis is correct. The years drag until you hit the age of 21....then they start flying by. Soon after 21...what may seem like seconds....you hit 30. The next phase where time takes yet another quantum leap in speed is after you have kids....pretty soon yer a year away from 40 and then you really start wondering where the hell all this time has gone.

Anyway....let's jump back from that incredibly large tangent that just sort of fell onto the screen.

Thanksgiving....good times. Good time with family that I hadn't seen in a long time. Thanksgiving day at my folks house was fun, hectic, and crowded. My folks place isn't that big to begin with, add 15 adults and 8 grand kids and it's a recipe for chaos. It was. Adults with no energy and kids with endless energy made for an interesting time. We all did make it out alive though so we got that working for us.

Fast forward to Friday night...had the chance to hang out with some old friends and finally meet some new ones (yes...I finally met the weather chick and her other half in person) Good times....good times. Anyone up for a week long trip to tornado alley?????? Jason and Michelle were up and it was good to have them back in the fold....I missed them even though I didn't really realize it until we were again enjoying some frosty beverages at "The Bone". It was good to see Dave and Rich...even though we all live within minutes of each other we seldom get together to share old times or shoot the shit about new ones. And lastly and certainly least was Jerry. I have to admit, it was good to see him again as well...even though he does sort of scare me with the hair and beard action he has going (picture the death metal bass player aggressive type.....yeah you know what I'm talking about). Heather was there too and it has been a long time since I have seen her!! Good friends every one of them.

Looking forward to seeing everyone again during the silly season that is approaching. Till then take care of yourselves.

A short rant...

This is to the fuck stick earlier today that cut me off. Maybe it's me...I don't follow the logic of why this a-hole had to hammer it off the line only to get in front of me to turn right into a parking lot. There wasn't a car behind me...what the fuck was this dirt bag thinking? Fuckin greedy is what he is..ass hole. He's lucky I didn't have a cow catcher on the front of the truck...I would have wrapped his back seat around his fuckin head.

Alright..I'm done...

Palin.....the in-law that won't leave...

The election is complete and the Democrats have triumphed. Why does the media continue to put Palin center stage? Is it because it makes ratings? Maybe. Now I hear that the buzz is whether she will make a run at the White House? Are we serious? What part of the campaign didn't showcase this individual's lack of any sort of political prowess? How many stupid comments about pitbulls, lipstick, glass ceilings, and Hockey Mom's do you have to hear before the light goes on about just how unqualified this person is? People..this Sara Palin is not fit for the office she currently holds..much less the White House. The more she fills the television screen on all the news shows the worse she looks. She can't answer the questions asked. The Rebumblicans are in serious trouble if this is their great hope for they are doomed if this is all they have to offer the people of the United States.

Actually..come to think of it...maybe that's not such a bad thing.

Obama...Oval Office...Big Chair. Now the work begins.

Well....the democrats should be quite satisfied after the complete trouncing they took 4 years ago.
Obama and the Dems won with authority and then some.
Palin eventually caused the implosion of the Republican party...and now everything is right with the world.
My only caution people is the simple fact this country as well as the world is pretty fucked up right now.
To think that this one individual is going to be the 2nd coming is ludicrous.

I watched the acceptance party for Obama and although I was happy to see him win (I did vote for him after all); I thought all the bawling, raising hands to the sky, and the praise Jesus crap that was going on amongst the crowd was a bit much.
And Oprah....not gonna even go there.
The guy isn't a god after all and these people looked like they were a witness to some divine event.
Come on....a divine event?
If anything, the American people finally pulled their heads outta their assess and spoke up for once.
This election was quoted as seeing one of the largest voters turn outs in history.
I guess my question is where the fuck were all you morons 4 years ago?
Did we really have to go through another 4 years of that W. fuck before you finally figured it was the right thing to vote.
How dare you people....how dare you!!!!!
People say voting is a privilege.....it is a duty you schmucks...a duty...do you hear?!!!!
Freedom and democracy is a fragile thing..and we are fortunate to be here enjoying our rights.
Again....I hope and pray that Obama is the man we all think he is.
Is he capable of leading this country out of the funk that we are in?
For the sake of my 401(k), I hope so.
More importantly are you (yes you reading this blog) willing to do what it takes to help bring this country out of the funk that it's in?
Time will tell my friends...time will tell.
I'll see you all in four years when I'll ask all of you if you are better off now than you were four years ago.
My hope is that we all answer with a resounding yes.

Lonely Turd

The wife and I took the kids out for dinner tonight. Because they were running around the house like two hell spawns hopped up on goofballs we made the decision to hit the BK Lounge. The location we chose was equipped with a play area for them to run those goofballs out of their system. I took the kids into the play area, proceeded to remove the coats(yes, it's a bit chilly in these here parts) and shoes. I barely had Gunnar's second shoe off when he lunged for the entrance to the climbing structure that was literally alive with screaming children. I grabbed a seat, picked up a magazine and waited for my wife to return with the food. It wasn't very long and my wife entered the play area, brought the food over, and set the trays down on the table. I took this chance to run to the rest room for a bio break followed by a cleansing of the hands. In public restrooms I tend to use the stall if available and I was in luck for it was...or at least I thought I was. I opened the door only to find a lonely turd in the bowl. Now..when I say lonely I mean it was all alone in the bowl. Just a little turd sitting there in the bowl, no paper...just a turd. Upon a discovery like this, one's mind tends to begin creating scenarios to try and figure out what happened. Plenty of paper on the roll. The bowl wasn't clogged so it's not like everything else went down and this turd was left behind. Maybe the turd came back...it wasn't ready to go and this turd came back. Then it hit me...whoever dropped this kid off at the pool either got up and didn't wipe (eewwwww) or he wiped with something else. I suddenly felt trapped. Could I touch anything in this restroom? I used my shoe to pull the door open and got the fuck outta there before I puked.

FLIM...FLAM...plain and simple.

Alright...I am sitting here watching this ridiculous example of a debate. I am trying to gain any insight as to what is located between the ears of Mrs. Palin. As of right now...my guess is dark matter. There is nothing grey about it. This woman has stood up there and said nothing. I mean I hear sounds and I see her mouth moving, however nothing coherent is being produced.

If she doesn't feel like answering the question, she changes the subject and starts talking about something completely unrelated.

And another thing...if I hear one more "soccer mom" or "glass ceiling" or "Maverick" or "Gosh" or "darn it" out of this lady I am gonna fuckin puke. This is unbelievable! Even worse....it's more frightening than anything else. This woman is not fit to be vice president...and the thought that she would be the one to take over the oval office in the event McCain takes a dirt nap before his term in the unholy event we as a nation let him into the white house is more than I can take (insert deep breath here due to the fact that the last statement was a run on sentence). I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Jeez people....the ride is getting a little scary and I think I want to get off, there's just no where to go.